Sunday, April 24, 2011

Like Deborah Cox and R.L...

Baby, "We Can't be Friends"
Lol
I'm baaaaaaaack!

What's good ya? Didn't I tell ya I was comin back strong? Well I'm here with another one.
So the other day I posted a status on Facebook and that status was:  

"LADIES, TAKE IT FROM A MAN: YOU CANNOT, I REPEAT, CANNOT HAVE MALE "FRIENDS" TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU!"

(Copied and pasted) It of course began to get a lil heated but I figured I'd spill all the beans via a blog post.  See ladies, I'm a gentleman, and a lot of guys out there are like me in that sense, but at the end of the day I am still a man. A predator and just because I don't attack does not mean I wouldn't, it simply means that I am not hungry enough to move just yet.
You probably don't follow just yet, so allow me to break it down. Ladies, understand that there are 3 different types of male friends.
There's the

Lion:
This is the male friend that has been around for a while, he's sincere, he does care about and respect the friendship and he's got your back in the event of anything. Has he ever tried to holla? Nah, he hasn't but he has thought about it, and if ever you were to drop your pants in front of him his pupils will dilate. This is the dormant hunger being awoken. See, because he respects the friendship so much he's not gonna over step any boundaries prior to you giving him some sort of green light, cause he doesn't wanna lose the friendship.
So you can chill with this male friend, ya can go to the movies and go hang out, shop on 34th, people watch in Soho, whatever, but you trigger that dormant hunger it WILL go down. This doesn't make him any less of a person, it's just the way the cards are dealt.
*Ya sittin there thinkin "OMG, Mike would never!" Yeah aight, if Mike wouldn't either you ugly as shit or he's gay!


There's also the


Tiger: 
This is the one that has told you he wants to do you. He's just like the lion in the sense that he's trust worthy as far as a "friend" is concerned. He got your back, he don't mind just chillen, but he done made it clear that he would put it on you 6 ways from Tuesday if you ever let him. In fact he probably has already boned, and now ya friends with benefits. And if the benefits are seasonal he at least knows "I got it before, I can get it again." You've chosen to keep him around for whatever reason, but his words should never be taken as a joke.

Then there's the


Wolf:
The wolf hasn't been totally honest with you. See the Wolf has come to you in sheep's clothing. He's ONLY around cause he wants to smash and once he's "Eaten" his prey he's out. The wolf might be around for years just waiting for that one moment of weakness. You know how you can tell which one is the wolf, or would have the most potential to be the wolf? The wolf is often the one you run to and share all your marital problems with. "Me and hubby aint gettin along cause xyz." <-Do you realize how dangerous this is? This man now has the Teacher's text book with all the right answers. So now the Wolf is just waiting for the hubby to slip up too hard to get back up. Cause now he knows all the voids to fill.
the Wolf is of course not limited to what was just sated, but he is the one in the shadows. Texts you every now and then asking "So how you been?" Trust me that nigga don't care, "Let's go out and catch up," he tryna get in your pants.
*You probably sittin there thinkin: "Well Derrick hits me up like that, but Derrick has a girl" 
Derrick is tryna fuck ladies! (Excuse my French)


I know it seems sneaky and conniving, but it's really not. Lol, it's just how we're wired. Like I said, the Lion and Tiger are really your friends. But they can't take you to the court to play ball with you like they can with their boys, so the extra circular activity in your relationship would be played out in the bedroom. Feel me?


So now that you know these things ladies, figure out what category all your male friends fall into. Cause I know the other day when I posted the status a lot of the ladies were ready to corner me and get answers. No need to corner me, I laid it all out for ya. Understand what I mean next time I say "Men and Woman can't be friends"
Please leave all your comments, questions and concerns, I'm ready, willing and able to address them all.


Stay Up, Be Careful and Stay Tuned.

2 comments:

☆Reese said...

*Stands on desk to applaud (cuz I'm short like dat) *


Of course, I agree...thank God I have male friends (such as yourself) that keep it 100 with me at ALL times.
Excellent post young grasshopper.

-Vader, Out. ^_^

ENO ONE.... said...

LMFAO AT VADER, YOU A FUCKIN FOOL REESE I LOVE YOU MAN! LOL