Monday, February 1, 2010

2010 Bonnie and Clyde: Part I

It was an early Tuesday morning when Clyde received a call from a good and close friend asking him if he could swing by the old neighborhood and handle some business with some old friends.
Clyde was never much a morning person, he was usually up very late and was by now used to waking up very late, but that's neither here nor there.

"Tommy the Gun needs you to come around and help him with that "Thing" he's workin on" said the faint half asleep voice on the other end of Clyde's phone. "Dammit Pete, look at the time" said Clyde, "I know Clyde, but its gotta be done you see? Can you do it or not"
"Well you tell me, have I ever been known to leave a friend without my assistance? I'll be there around 2:30"

So after getting ready and having breakfast (which he hadn't done in about a year) Clyde got in his car and said a prayer behind the wheel "Lord, you know I don't have a license, so I pray that you get me to my destination safe without any of these bitch ass Coppers stopping me and giving me heat" with his prayer said Clyde put the car in gear and drove off.

Chapter II-
Clyde arrived at Tommy the Gun's shop around 2:25, he arrived safe proving to him again that prayer before crime often does the trick. So he sees Tommy and walks in, forgetting that being double parked could get him a ticket. He walked in the shop, discussed a few things with Pete and came back out, before he could reach his car he saw a pig scanning the registration papers "Nah, Copper what gives?" said Clyde.

"Ahhhh, well if it isn't Clyde Davidson of the Bronx, the most dangerous criminal in all our city" said the officer who was writing Clyde a ticket. "Criminal? I'm a working man just like you, you Scum, Pig Bitch" replied Clyde "Ahh well call me what you want clyde but you owe the city $1000 large ones for this one" "A whole f*%kin Grand Copper? Nah, c'mon" Clyde decided that he'd bite the bullet, cause if he were asked for his license he'd surely be taken in for driving without one "Alright Copper"

Clyde then decided to have a quick beer with Tommy and then leave, "well Gun, I'm gonna go get my lady, It's early afternoon and I'm sure by now she's missing me" said Clyde, "thanks again Clyde, your a great guy, I don't care what anyone says about you" replied Tommy.
"Ahhh git outta heeere"

Chapter III-
Clyde arrived at his ol' lady Bonnie's home shortly after sending her a text, politely asking her to have her ass on the curb in 15 minutes. Of Course he arrived and she was still upstairs powdering her nose. "What give toots, I told you be down here in 15"
Bonnie Replied "Well I had to powder my nose babe, I can't be seen without my face, you know" Clyde replied with a strong and sudden "Baarghhh"

They drove back to Clyde's home where they often hid out and relaxed. "Put this in the glove box" Bonnie took the ticket Clyde handed to her and opened the glove box, where thousands of unpaid tickets were and spilled out. They arrived to Clyde's home and decided to watch some movies before they took a roll in the hey. Shorty after Bonnie suggested they lite a Cigar (the illegal kind of course) and go at it again. Clyde not being a fan of cigar smoke in his pad decided, "well fine, but we're gonna smoke it in the car." Once they were in the car they had begun and it wasn't long before the police showed up. "Ahhh shit!" Said Clyde in a disgusted tone. "What is it Clyde?" Replied Bonnie, "Its Johnny Law-you do the talking, you know how these things work" the police came to the window of their car and asked them to roll the windows down "Well well well, look who we have here boys, its Bonnie & Clyde"

"What do you want you Pig Bitch? An autograph" "Now now Clyde, watch that tone, we know you too are responsible for that Bank Heist on 149th and Third, so I say you co-operate and let us do our job" Clyde stayed quite and went with the original plan of letting Bonnie do the talking.

"This car stinks to High Heaven of Marijuana and Booze, I'm gonna need you two to step out of the car" said the officer

Bonnie and Clyde stepped out and their car was searched, nothing was found so the officers had nothing to take them in on but suspicion and hate.

"Ha ha ha ha" Clyde laughed, "Are we done here copper, I'd like to take my lady upstairs and get more familiar with her anatomy." The officer red with fury and anger said "GET OUTTA HERE" Bonnie and Clyde drove off into the sunset happy and uncaught.

but what happened next was not such a happy ending story.....

Stay up and Stay Tuned!

1 comment:

Jemeka said...

L-O-V-E!! Lol Part II Part II!!