Monday, April 26, 2010

My Guardian Angles

What's goin on Bull Penners. It would seem this blog is all about Pictures and art with all I've been givin you all April huh? Well let's just make April my unofficial month of Art and Photography.

But todays post has nothing to do with either or.
Did I ever tell ya what my first Tattoo really meant to me? Its more than just writings in ink for me. That Tattoo represent the 8 months in my life where everything changed. Lemme share with you:

April 26th, 2003.
We were all in Honduras for Easter/Spring Break and like always it was a great time, both my Grandmothers (Moms mom, and her older sister) took care of us, made sure our trip was the best it could be, you know, the works.

Well after all the festivities, Abuelita Ade (Grandma Adela - Mom's moms sister) was becoming sick. She's been sick before so I thought nothing of it, but by now she was 85 and it never occurred to me that this would be the last time she'd get sick.

I was 15, and that I could remember there hadn't been any deaths in my family.

So pretty much, in 15 years I hadn,t experienced the death of anyone I knew, til that night in the village of Santa Fe in Honduras.
Grandma had just come back from the Hospital in the morning cause she was sent a night or 2 before. So her coming back made me feel like she was gonna pull through. But she was in bed all day, so that kinda made me think twice. I asked Grandma (Moms mom) who's birthday was one day away "How's she doin? Is she getting better" still optimistic. And she replied "Ade se esta muriendo, ya no va amhorar" (Ade is dieing, she's not gonna continue to do better) the blunt words pierced my chest and it came to me at that moment that I would have to say bye to my grandma soon.

Sure enough, around 8:30pm (I believe) one of the elderly ladies from the town walked out onto the front portche of my grandmothers house where everyone was gathered to come say their good byes and give their respects for the family, and she said "Ya, se Fue Ade." (That's it, Ade has left) My grandmother had taken her last breath. I didn't immediately cry, but I did feel it. It wasn't until I walked into the house and saw her little sister (my gma) walking out of her room crying. I'd never seen my grandma cry til that day, all her daughters and grand children crying, of course I broke down and lost it too.

To think the beautiful, lil old Lady that was just talkin to me, telling me to behave myself a few days ago, reminding me to listen to my parents, and asking me "Tenes hambre" (Are you Hungry) lol, was now gone. The feeling was unexplainable, a feeling I had never felt before. One thing that hurt above all else is that the whole day I didn't walk into her room to say my last good bye. My grandma was always bad with saying good bye. Whenever we would be packed up and ready to come home we couldn't say "Bye Grandma" and let her see us leave. We would have to tell her the day before, "We're gonna go soon grandma" and on the actual day it was just a matter of going. So naturally I didn't say my final goodbye. But I did however write about it on an old MySpace Blog ( )

But anyway, that's what it was. The great Circle of Life. Grandma left behind: 3 daughters and 2 son, 20 grandchildren (I know, damn lol), and 11 Great grandchildren.... And just like that, I experienced the beginning and end of life.

8 months Later, lil Baby Tamara had passed at the tender age of 5, but that's a whole different Blog post.......

So today, I just want ya to take a few seconds out your day and have a moment of silence for my grandma who 7 years ago today went to heaven to spend eternity with our Lord above. Thanks for lettin me share with ya folks. I luv all ya'll.

^Self Explanatory^

R.I.P Grandma.
Gone and Never Forgotten


Anonymous said...

Very well said and may your Grandma rest eternally in peace. I lost my Grandma which will be 6 years Nov. 15 this year and she was my world; literally! I know how you felt and still feel with her not being here. And at the time my Grandma passed, I knew death all too well however, with something like death or having anything taken away from you is difficult and can never take getting used to. But when someone that you loved that much is gone, it's a lot easier remembering and keeping in mind all the memories shared. Cliche but true. And when we lose good people like my Grandma and your Grandma Ade it's comforting knowing that in the absense of them here with us is their presence is with God. Blessings to those touched by our loved ones who went on...

**Boss Lady**

M33KS::4::MVS!C said...

Wow this was deep! I've never lost anyone in my family that I was extremely close to {not because I'm }, so I'd be lying if I said I know how you feel. But if ever you feel down about it, read 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18..And when you do, may you be consumed by peace! :)

ENO ONE.... said...

Thanks a million Nikki and Jemeka, I appreciate both of your words. Nikki I know death all too well also as I've lost a baby cousin and 2 uncles after Grandma's passing, but like you said, its not something you get used to.

Jemeka, I don't feel down about it anymore, I've made my peace with the situation and I've outgrown the greed of wanting her to still be around and appreciate and understand the fact she is with God, but thanks for the passage to read, I will still check it out soon and see how great it is.

Thanks again Ladies, I appreciate you both very dearly