"Good Hair"

Yaaaooowww!

I Know it's been a minute but I plan on making it up for ya! But anyway, like I told ya via FaceBook I watched "Good Hair" today for the first time. For those of ya who aren't in the know "Good Hair" is a documentary by Chris Rock documenting the use of wigs and weaves by African American women.
Anyone who knows me knows I HAAAAAAAAAAATTTE Wigs and Weaves, with all the passion, blood, sweat tears and emotion in my body! Fuckin Shit! Excuse my French, but I'm deadass. Perms are not so bad more so because its your hair just fried, but I guess it falls into the same category. Before I go into details as to what was discussed in the documentary allow me to first tell ya why I hate them so much.

To me it's simply a lie. It's deceiving. False advertising even. See to me a weave or a wig says "My self esteem is low, I am my hair, if my hair isn't long and relaxed and "good" then I am not pretty or beautiful like the white women I see in magazines, movie and in Hollywood" when in all reality, beauty is what you make it. I hate to sound cliche but if you don't love you who will? I know a few of you are reading this thinking: "White women use weaves too Eno" Okay shorty, I give you that but do they try to fool the world coming through one day with a short Halle Berry cut and come through on Friday with hair down the middle of their backs? No right?
Like I said it's a lie. I will never forget the day I came home with a lady friend, made myself comfortable on her bed turned on her tv while she got comfortable after a long day of work. Amongst other things she took off her hair and I almost vomited! Ewwwwwlll What the fuck? Aight ladies lemme tell ya what that's like from where I'm sittin: That's like you see me in the street and I meet your every criteria in a man. I'm tall, I have a nice short hair cut, light eyes, rock hard stomach big ass feet and hell you can see my Moose knuckle (Male version of camel toe-so you see the dick print through the pants.) I catch your eye, we speak for a minute and we come home together. I tell you "Sit down baby get comfortable" and as you watch me unwind you see I was walking on some stilts, so I'm not really 6'5", I'm barely 6 feet, I take off my contacts, my eyes are really dark brown like everyone else, my hair line was drawn on and it was one of those wave cap things that made it look short and my hair is really a nappy unkempt mess under that. My stomach was being tied down with a girdle or whatever I would use and I'm really fat. I take my shoes off and I'm really a size 8.5, but I stuffed my kicks with socks so that I could wear the size 11.  Oh and you thought I was well endowed? Oh nah baby! This is a small towel I like to keep in the front of my pants... Now ladies, be honest with me, what would you think and say? Honestly?

Another reason why I don't like them is because they don't really serve a purpose. They aren't medical solutions to hair loss, they don't help the hair grow longer so that some day you don't have to wear them. They are strictly and solely used for vanity. I'm sure alot of it also comes from the fact that growing up i never saw my mom or the women in my family using wigs and weaves, so to me its like "Really shorty? You don't get down like the old school?"
So I wanted to watch "Good Hair" because I was hoping it would teach me something I didn't know and maybe shed some light as to why women (especially the black ones) wear them. Because believe it or not anytime I ask them I get the same BS answers like: "Well I get bored easily, so this way I can switch it up." Or something like: "Well this way I don't have to do anything to my hair I can just get up and go" Bitch cut it all off and call it a day if its like that then.
So pretty much Chris went to a few different cities and discussed the issue with several hair dressers and salon owners and I must say I learned just a few things that I didn't know. Like: did you know that the chemicals in a perms are strong enough to take the color off of a can of soda? Even disintegrate it? And some of these vain women even put it on their young daughters as young as the age of 3. Chemicals that could literally burn through the skin. I also learned how expensive some weaves can be. I knew they were expensive but I saw one that started at $1,000 and could reach up to $3,500. I mean for that sticker price I better never get a headache ever again and this shit better eventually fuse with my real hair and root itself into my scalp. It documented how some women will skip on paying the rent to be able to afford these extravagant weaves. Disgusting to say the least.

So next up was the trip to India where most of the "Human" hair comes from. And to me that's even worse than any other type of hair.... To me it's like sharing used condoms. That's hair that was sprouted from the scalp of another person and now its mixed in with you hair? You nasty bitch! But anyway, apparently in India the native have all had their hair cut off completely at least twice in their lives by the time they are adults due to religious reasons. One man in particular capitalizes off of this and sells all the hair that is cut off. That's a LOT of hair and in turn a lot of money. There's even a black market where another man and his henchmen are thieves and stoop so low as to cuttin peoples hair in their sleep to be able to sell it. Are you serious? In india the hair business is more lucrative than gold! WOW!
The whole thing was just preposterous to me. To think that society and Hollywood has our Beautiful, nappy headed, once wore Afros, black women so messed up into believing that their hair makes them look prettier, or pretty period. Is natural really that bad? All in all I didn't learn too much from watching "Good Hair" but i did enjoy it because it reconfirmed all that I had been saying from the beginning. It's not so much about helpin a situation as it is looking good to please others. So to those of ya who are sitting here sayin: "No I don't do it to please others, and I don't do it to look beautiful, its just my preference" nah fam, have a seat! You may think you doin it for you but you doin it for acceptance and for the satisfaction of others and don't even realize it. It's a sad truth but I guess this is what we live with.

With all that said I still HATE Wigs and weaves... Perm are cool but dammit the risk you take in getting them is ridiculous. It's mind bogglin how it still such a big thing with women knowing what they know.
But like all else that you read on this blog: "These are just my opinions and views"  take it or leave it ladies. I still love ya, I just hate ya hair.

Stay Up, Go Natural if you Dare, and Stay Tuned!