Before I say anything I just have to mention: I was in the car for about 60% of my day today and while switching from Hot 97 to Power 105 I thought to myself "Cot damn, is there only 7 songs in existence right now? I think imma just start reading." (No I don't read, so what? lol.)
Anyway in a moment of silence this cutie walked in front of the car. Nice light skin face, short black hair, nice lil body and of course as I watched her walk away and possible almost caused an accident I saw that she had an ample back yard! Lolol. So when I snap back to reality I tell Mylez: "That's nice, I would wife that!" Lmao. I wasn't fully serious of course cause I don't know that girl or anything about her. Shit, she could be an axe murderer. But you get where I'm goin with it. Shortly after, I struck up a conversation about attraction. And I had a revelation, I explained to Mylez that I've figured out a problem with myself (if you wanna call it a problem) but the problem or situation is: I have a bad habit of getting caught up and interested in the women who don't share the mutual attraction with me. I swear it happens all the time... Remember the blog where I mentioned the Untouchables? Well yeah, that's the case, I see a girl, possibly holla, get to know her and think to myself "Hmm, I can see myself workin out a lil situation with this girl." Lol only to realize that on her end she doesn't see me as anything more than a friend. I'm just the nigga she can come and tell allllll her problems to, joke and be herself around but not the nigga to call her man. Ain't that a bitch? But then I ask Mylez is it just human nature? Cause that's what I been callin it for years. Liking the one who doesn't like you, and ignoring the ones that do like you. Is it a vicious cycle or can something be done.
He mentioned something along the lines of trying to be attracted to something else, and I mentioned: "That's impossible, it's inevitable, I can't control what I'm physically attracted to" and he said "I think you can." I understand where he's coming from to an extent, but I still feel strongly about my thoughts on it. Its like you see a car that you've never seen before. It doesn't have any logos or decals to give you an idea as to what it is, but you know you like how it looks. Naturally, you have little to no control over that. He of course said we do have control over that. So I guess I decided to leave it at that. But it lead me to think deeper into it. Why do I keep falling prey to my own preference? How is it that I'm attracted to what I know isn't attracted to me? Crazy right. I mean I've been in this position way too many times. Shit the last one I fell for probably knew I was feelin her but I didn't even say anything, because I knew she would hit me with the "I'm not really looking for anything serious right now" or the "I don't see you that way" or the "We're just friends" or my favorite "I didn't know you felt that way, but I appreciate your honesty" lol, Which means "Ewwl Nigga, the nerve of you to assume I'd deal with you on a higher level than I already am!" I mean, it takes a toll on you after a while so when does the moment come when I say "You know what this one aint as cute as that one, but she down for me.... Imma run with her." I don't know. Buddy said if I keep finding myself attracted to the girl who doesn't work for me there's nothing wrong with them, there's something wrong with me. And as hard as it is for me to admit theres something wrong with me (I have a looot of pride) I guess this time he's right, there's something wrong with me. I guess all these years the fellas have been right, I'm too picky. (Lol, you know I still don't fully agree with that) but whatever. If being attracted to beautiful makes me picky then hey *Eno Shrugs*
So I guess this all just balls down to a question, do you think you can control being physically attracted to a person or different people with the same physical attributes?
I can admit I'm shallow, but you can still go for a swim in my depth. I'm not saying I wouldn't deal with a girl who isn't "traditionally" attractive, cause I would, but like I always say, based on initial sight I go for the cutie pies. Am I wrong for always falling for her type?
Stay Up and Stay Tuned.
6 comments:
i have to say i have a lot of respect for your blog. your writing is unique yet raw . keep it up and i will stay tuned.
Yoooo, I FEEL you when it comes to falling for someone and then having them throw you in the friend zone. I hate it! But about Buddy's statement..We change our preferences all the time, don't we? It only makes sense that we be able to do the same when it comes to the opposite sex. Right..?
MS. YOUNG &GIFTED THANK YOU SO MUCH, THAT LITERALLY MADE MY EVENING. I WILL PROMISE TO KEEP MY WRITING AS IS IF NOT SOMEHOW BETTER. THANKS FOR STAYING TUNED.
MEEKS GOOD LOOKIN ON THE COMMENT LOVE. YEAH THE FRIEND ZONE IS NOT ALWAYS COOL. AND IN RESPONSE I GUESS WE DO CHANGE OUR PREFERENCES OFTEN. SO I GUESS YOU GUYS ARE RIGHT BUT HOW DOES ONE CHANGE THEIR PREFERENCE WHEN IT COMES TO OPPOSITE SEX? IF YOU AS A FEMALE "PREFER" TALL DARK AND HANDSOME, HOW DO YOU SWITCH TO SHORT ROUND AND LIGHT SKIN? FEEL ME?
@Eno in reply to meeks comment. ENO honestly lemme tell you. I been there i used to love straight black dudes cuz im a lightskin girl. all of a sudden one day i found this one spanish dude. OMG at first i was like HUH no thanks but as we started talking more and more i realized YES he was fine and yes i only did love off the black guys but i was at a point where i was being treated ways i didnt deserve but other guys i had chosen. BUT this spanish dude i mean WOW he was completely different. Its crazy but when you realize what you need your prefences do change A LOT. if that makes any sense at all.
THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENT R.U.T AND YES I DO AGREE WITH YOUR STATEMENT, I GUESS YOUR PREFERENCES DO CHANGE WHEN YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU WANT IS NOT WHAT YOU NEED. THUS FAR I'VE MADE IT MY BUSINESS NOT TO HAVE A "TYPE" I'VE NEVER SAID SHE HAS TO BE THIS TAL, HAIR HAS TO LOOK LIKE THIS, OR EYE COLOR MUST BE LIGHT, DARK ETC. DID I PREFER THESE THINGS? MAYBE BUT LACK OF THOSE TRAITS DIDN'T BOX ANYONE OUT. BUT AS FAR AS INITIAL ATTRACTION THIS WAS WHAT I WAS DRAWN TO. BUT I STILL AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAID, AND YES IT DID MAKE SENSE. THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR COMMENT.
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