Before I say anything I just have to mention: I was in the car for about 60% of my day today and while switching from Hot 97 to Power 105 I thought to myself "Cot damn, is there only 7 songs in existence right now? I think imma just start reading." (No I don't read, so what? lol.)
Anyway in a moment of silence this cutie walked in front of the car. Nice light skin face, short black hair, nice lil body and of course as I watched her walk away and possible almost caused an accident I saw that she had an ample back yard! Lolol. So when I snap back to reality I tell Mylez: "That's nice, I would wife that!" Lmao. I wasn't fully serious of course cause I don't know that girl or anything about her. Shit, she could be an axe murderer. But you get where I'm goin with it. Shortly after, I struck up a conversation about attraction. And I had a revelation, I explained to Mylez that I've figured out a problem with myself (if you wanna call it a problem) but the problem or situation is: I have a bad habit of getting caught up and interested in the women who don't share the mutual attraction with me. I swear it happens all the time... Remember the blog where I mentioned the Untouchables? Well yeah, that's the case, I see a girl, possibly holla, get to know her and think to myself "Hmm, I can see myself workin out a lil situation with this girl." Lol only to realize that on her end she doesn't see me as anything more than a friend. I'm just the nigga she can come and tell allllll her problems to, joke and be herself around but not the nigga to call her man. Ain't that a bitch? But then I ask Mylez is it just human nature? Cause that's what I been callin it for years. Liking the one who doesn't like you, and ignoring the ones that do like you. Is it a vicious cycle or can something be done.
He mentioned something along the lines of trying to be attracted to something else, and I mentioned: "That's impossible, it's inevitable, I can't control what I'm physically attracted to" and he said "I think you can." I understand where he's coming from to an extent, but I still feel strongly about my thoughts on it. Its like you see a car that you've never seen before. It doesn't have any logos or decals to give you an idea as to what it is, but you know you like how it looks. Naturally, you have little to no control over that. He of course said we do have control over that. So I guess I decided to leave it at that. But it lead me to think deeper into it. Why do I keep falling prey to my own preference? How is it that I'm attracted to what I know isn't attracted to me? Crazy right. I mean I've been in this position way too many times. Shit the last one I fell for probably knew I was feelin her but I didn't even say anything, because I knew she would hit me with the "I'm not really looking for anything serious right now" or the "I don't see you that way" or the "We're just friends" or my favorite "I didn't know you felt that way, but I appreciate your honesty" lol, Which means "Ewwl Nigga, the nerve of you to assume I'd deal with you on a higher level than I already am!" I mean, it takes a toll on you after a while so when does the moment come when I say "You know what this one aint as cute as that one, but she down for me.... Imma run with her." I don't know. Buddy said if I keep finding myself attracted to the girl who doesn't work for me there's nothing wrong with them, there's something wrong with me. And as hard as it is for me to admit theres something wrong with me (I have a looot of pride) I guess this time he's right, there's something wrong with me. I guess all these years the fellas have been right, I'm too picky. (Lol, you know I still don't fully agree with that) but whatever. If being attracted to beautiful makes me picky then hey *Eno Shrugs*
So I guess this all just balls down to a question, do you think you can control being physically attracted to a person or different people with the same physical attributes?
I can admit I'm shallow, but you can still go for a swim in my depth. I'm not saying I wouldn't deal with a girl who isn't "traditionally" attractive, cause I would, but like I always say, based on initial sight I go for the cutie pies. Am I wrong for always falling for her type?
Stay Up and Stay Tuned.