Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Loose Screw

So I get a text from my big sis Imani earlier today. She was telling me that she wanted to be a guest blogger tonight. I was very excited... I've always been a fan of her own blog "I'm just Saying..." *COUGH even tho she neglects it like a step child *COUGH lol. And the fact that she wants to bless all my readers with a guest appearance made me feel honored. So with no further delay my big Sis' Imani's post.

One day I decided that I should try therapy. It’s not that I couldn’t have used it before then but at the time in my life it was nearly mandatory. I had seen people on tv and in the movies with a therapist and figured it was the new black and I should have one immediately.

Session one:

I went in and cried through my story just like on the movies. It was great! I took long pauses, stared at that ceiling- every woman knows that there you gather the strength to stop tears- and generally looked to this woman for help. She took notes, listened intently, took more notes, handed me the roughest tissues my eyes have every felt, asked a couple of background questions and told me that she was going to do everything she could to get me in every week. I was a grade A mess.

I finally had a therapist. Mission accomplished and I couldn’t wait to tell people.

Session two:

I didn’t cry too much but I was all upset like I’ve seen in the movies. She told me that I was probably feeling anxiety because I wasn’t breathing and she was right. I was literally holding my breath. She gave me breathing exercises. I felt pretty cool because I had therapy homework and I called and told everybody all about it.

Session three:

I’m totally over this woman. She is not probing me like they do in the movies and we are literally just staring at each other. Granted, it was insurance paying for this, but I had free staring contests on the school bus in grade school. Hell, I still stare at the people that stare at me. It became obvious that this just isn’t going to work.

Session four:

There was some a water outage in the building so the session was cancelled… fine by me.

Session five:

What session five? I called in and cancelled all remaining sessions.

In conclusion:

Do I still need therapy? Probably, but if its not going to be like it is in the movies then there will just be one more emotionally unstable person running the streets. When you see me, say hi. I bite but I never break skin. 


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