Guess Who's Bizzack! Ya boy E Crizack!! Lol.
"Did you miss me?????" Varnell Hill voice!
Lol, I know I been gone for a minute ya, but for a while now I've told myself not to blog until I seriously have something of substance to speak on. I think I've used this topic before but it's been floating around me for a while and figured I'd bring it up and discuss it.
So ladies, maybe not you, but I'm sure you know a female who has tried to change a man in some way or another, for what she feels is the benefit of the relationship between her and the man. Truth is, the change is for her, she may not notice that, but that's the case.
I wanna talk about it so I figured, to make it a lil more interesting I'd break it down in list form. So here goes, from the least serious to the most serious:
The "Sex will change His Mind" Female:
So this chick is playing hard to get. She wants to be treated like a lady (and she has every right to want that) but she knows the guy she's talkin to has a girlfriend and he's just lookin for a good time outside of his home. (We're not talkin about his cheating so let's ignore that aspect for a minute.)
So he's not necessarily treating her like a lady, he's treating her more like a broad who's gonna give it up if he plays his cards right. She's playing hard to get thinking: "Once he finally gets this he's gonna leave his girl and come my way and I'll be the winner!" He smashes (constantly) and maybe even makes mention of wanting to leave his girl, but he never does. Or he does and STILL doesn't wife you. So what did you really change? You're still not being treated like a lady and you still single.
The "This Baby will make him Grow Up" Female:
Ok, so this is one of the worst ones. So this young lady seems to always find herself in a relationship with a "Kid." The fly guy with all the Polo gear, the flashy young nigga who just seems to be going nowhere with his life. Or so it seems. This guy may someday be the president of whatever company, or who knows, maybe even bigger than that. But for the sake of this post, let's just say he's not getting there any time soon. A night of passion with his girl turns into pregnancy, and although they can both afford an abortion, shorty decides "I'm gonna keep it. We're old enough and this baby is gonna make him more mature and make him the man he needs to be." The baby comes, he leaves and now she is a single mother. So much for making him the man he needed to be right? Sad part of it is: She knew all along, and she still decided to bring a child into this world that will now have to grow up without a father in his/her life. Ladies, you gotta stop allowing that to happen! You didn't change anything here but the face of the deadbeat in question.
The "Marriage will Definitely get him to Fly Straight" Female:
So.... This female has been dating a nigga who has been dating everybody for the last couple of years. The sex must be amazing because she hasn't chosen to leave yet. She rather fight, argue and make a scene in public places when his side piece just happens to show up in the same supermarket that she is in. (Trust me I've seen it) Dude is a serious player. She knows it, he knows it, hell the clerk at the corner store knows it. Ahhh well, she doesn't care, because she "Loves" him. So here they are at their most recent argument over "who's that bitch texting you at 3 in the morning?" Not knowing what else to do to get her off his back, homie promises to to get it together, get rid of all his hoes and marry her. She falls for it of course because she "Loves" him. She says Yes, and goes and tells all her girlfriends "Yeah girl, he finally gettin his shit together, we bout to be married" Damn ma!
Wedding bells come and now you're Mr. and Mrs..... But here we are months, maybe a few short years down the line and the homie is taking his wedding ring off to go blow Jessica's back out after he heard she back in town for the weekend! Did you really change him? Or did you just give him an even bigger safety net for him to fall back on in the event if him not being able to get ass elesewhere?
Ladies I try to tell ya'll this all the time: it is very hard to change people. By the time a person gets to the age of 12 or 13, it's pretty safe to assume that the person they are is the person they will be. Stop trying to make men fit into this perfect fantasy mold that ya have in your head of what your ideal man is. There is no such thing as a perfect person, there is only a person perfect for you. You shouldn't be trying to change the person you're with, especially if you have all the signs that he's not gonna change right in front of you! If you're trying so hard to change him, I think your best bet is simply to leave and find the one who comes with those changes standard because obviously the one you're with is not the one for you.
Hope I've been insightful tonight. Either make your spouse's faults work in your favor and make it work or dip! Simple and Plain.
Stay Up, and Stay Tuned!