So for those of ya who don't know, every Sunday for 2 months now I've been going to a writers workshop called Acentos writer. It caters more so to poetry but I feel it helps tremendously with my "free writing" style. Plus it always such a dope time spent. Anyway today's facilitator of the group was a young man named Raymond Daniel Medina, and he told us to write about "The Fall of Grace" (the story of Adam and Eve) and so that's what I did. I enjoyed the exercise very much and I learned about using more detail in my writing. We were told to write in the perspective of someone or various people in the story, so I want to share with ya what I wrote.
----------
I think I've got her. She knows the fruits from this tree are forbidden but now she's considering her fall from grace, even though she doesn't know. She's going for it and I can see the innocence draining from her eyes without a single tear shed as she chews from the last bite she'll eve have in my garden. She's calling Adam over and he'll surely do as she asks of him. "Amazing" I think to myself, I've corrupted two by simply speaking to one. This game will be easy, the game of taking over this world filled with weaklings and mindless mortals til this entire world beyond this tree is mine.
Adam reluctantly bites the apple. It's written all over his face that he knows he's done wrong. They've realized that they're naked, and that's my Cue. I've gotta go now, their Lord will surely return. He is their creator and now that they've been given that knowledge my work here is done.
Could it have been the dry scent of sweetness that made me do it? It was such a refreshing taste, the sound of it crushing between my teeth, the scent of my unknowing demise coming over me as I saw colors more vibrantly , heard the birds in the trees more clearly, saw he rays of the sun gracefully sneaking in through the empty space between the leaves over me. Adam just HAD to share this euphoric experience with me. So I told him: "here Adam try this apple. I think I've just discovered the first drug!"
With a tone of authority, I have returned to my Garden. I find my children hiding, they do not realize, even with a new found knowledge that I AM the all knowing . I ask them "why do you hide?" They reply to me "because we're naked." "Who told you that you are naked?" I reply with a strong tone in my voice.... They are struck by silence. I now know that my children have disobeyed the only law that I have set in place. Is this what I can expect from all my children? Maybe the "Free Will" thing was a bad idea. However, "Adam, you and Eve shall no longer live in thine garden. You will wander this world as exiles of your beautiful home and bare a sign on your forehead letting everyone know that you are disobedient." They have looks on their faces that just break my heart/ But I have to be stern in my ways. They gracefully take their fall from grace and leave to a world where they will start wars, create famine, poverty and endure hate from it all. What have I created? I suppose I shall call it Humanity.
So yeah! lol, Hope ya liked it.
Stay Up and Stay Tuned.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Just Wanna make you Smile
I'm pretty sure most of ya don't know the process behind my writing. Or do ya? Well allow me to share it with ya. (Have ya noticed how personal I've become with you in these past few weeks?) Anyway for me writing is literally venting. An escape from reality. Writing is my attic and my words are Anne Frank. I don't write much poems any more, nor do I write stories fictional or non fictional. Could I? Sure I could, but for me writing is opening up the flood gates of my mental state, allowing my hands to catch whatever they can hold and placing those things on paper. Sometimes my hand catch sounds, and those sounds translate into words as the pen strokes over paper or the cursor flows over blank space on the computer screen.
Not too long before I began writing out this post I had a random thought of the women I like. So I figured I'd open up the flood gates and put the gloves on my hands.
I can't say I have a "type" for me, my type is Female. I love all women, slightly younger (19 and better please), my age or even older. Short, tall, round, slim, short hair, long hair, (as long as it's hers) dark or light skinned, Librarian look with the glasses or whatever. If it catches my eyes I am attracted.
But there's one look that I just cannot deny no matter what the physical packaging is. And to me that's the "I'm from the Bronx, but my clothes is from the corner of 5th Ave. and 50th St." look! OOOWWWEEEE! (Gimme a minute. Don't touch me) lol
To me there's nothing sexier than a woman who knows, wants and has the finer things in life. You know the type I'm talkin about. She's lived on the 4th floor of your building or the building down the block for as long as you can remember, but you never see her chillen with the other girls on the block. You've seen her in passing but no one really knows what she's about. Some may think "That bitch is conceited" and everyone knows her name but NO ONE knows her game. I See you baby!
You may see them on the train with some sexy ass heels, a nice clutch, a sleek fitted pea coat some shiny shades that you can just tell cost her a grip. She may not have a dollar in the bank but her style is so grown and sexy you don't even care that those jeans cost her the phone bill for this and next month! lolol.
I call those girls "The Untouchables" because no matter how humble she may be once she decides to let her guards down, the truth remains: She's Rose, and I'm Jack. I'm a third class passenger on this ship of life and it's gonna take some sort of life saving and altering situation for her to realize that I'm standing here in front of her. I say it all the time: "Human nature is a bitch" I could have had a thing for Gina from the block, But the one that caught my eye was Raven. (Fake names by the way) And Gina is not only right up my alley, but she feelin me too! But nah: Raven got that walk, and she don't wear too much make up, that nude lipstick works so well for her, and geeze louise the way she switches in those red pumps with the black skinny jeans and the over sized blouse is doing it for me. Lol.
Anyway I say all that to say, I don't have a "type" but I can assure you that a certain style most definitely catches my attention! I mean shorty in the Jordans and the Yankee fitted can get it too, but... well you see where I'm goin with this right?
And to all the Ravens and Roses in the world. Us everyday Joe's just wanna make you smile baby! Don't shut us all down, some of us are pretty cool! lol. Stay up ya!
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
Not too long before I began writing out this post I had a random thought of the women I like. So I figured I'd open up the flood gates and put the gloves on my hands.
I can't say I have a "type" for me, my type is Female. I love all women, slightly younger (19 and better please), my age or even older. Short, tall, round, slim, short hair, long hair, (as long as it's hers) dark or light skinned, Librarian look with the glasses or whatever. If it catches my eyes I am attracted.
But there's one look that I just cannot deny no matter what the physical packaging is. And to me that's the "I'm from the Bronx, but my clothes is from the corner of 5th Ave. and 50th St." look! OOOWWWEEEE! (Gimme a minute. Don't touch me) lol
To me there's nothing sexier than a woman who knows, wants and has the finer things in life. You know the type I'm talkin about. She's lived on the 4th floor of your building or the building down the block for as long as you can remember, but you never see her chillen with the other girls on the block. You've seen her in passing but no one really knows what she's about. Some may think "That bitch is conceited" and everyone knows her name but NO ONE knows her game. I See you baby!
You may see them on the train with some sexy ass heels, a nice clutch, a sleek fitted pea coat some shiny shades that you can just tell cost her a grip. She may not have a dollar in the bank but her style is so grown and sexy you don't even care that those jeans cost her the phone bill for this and next month! lolol.
I call those girls "The Untouchables" because no matter how humble she may be once she decides to let her guards down, the truth remains: She's Rose, and I'm Jack. I'm a third class passenger on this ship of life and it's gonna take some sort of life saving and altering situation for her to realize that I'm standing here in front of her. I say it all the time: "Human nature is a bitch" I could have had a thing for Gina from the block, But the one that caught my eye was Raven. (Fake names by the way) And Gina is not only right up my alley, but she feelin me too! But nah: Raven got that walk, and she don't wear too much make up, that nude lipstick works so well for her, and geeze louise the way she switches in those red pumps with the black skinny jeans and the over sized blouse is doing it for me. Lol.
Anyway I say all that to say, I don't have a "type" but I can assure you that a certain style most definitely catches my attention! I mean shorty in the Jordans and the Yankee fitted can get it too, but... well you see where I'm goin with this right?
And to all the Ravens and Roses in the world. Us everyday Joe's just wanna make you smile baby! Don't shut us all down, some of us are pretty cool! lol. Stay up ya!
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
Monday, January 17, 2011
A Little Me (An 80's Baby)
"A picture is worth a thousand words" -Somoene long ago-
"Yes a picture is worth a thousand words, but there's more to it than that. A picture is the closest thing we'll ever have to time travel. It's not a DeLorean, but by looking at a picture you can be taken back to a moment in time that has been gone since the flash subsided. It is the capturing of a moment that would have been lost and will never return had it not been saved by the lens of a camera. Pictures are treasures that remind us of a time before now. It's one of the biggest reasons I am a photographer today" -Eno Bull-
It really bugs me to know that there isn't too many pictures of me from the time I was around 3 til the time I was around 14. I think to myself: "What will I show my children?" In fact when you think about it picture themselves have changed. Seeing as how technology continues to grow by the day, picture aren't even printed anymore. All we have is FaceBook and our camera phones which will someday surely die out. This is one of the main reasons I became a photographer. I vowed to have pictures of me and my whole family. Especially my cousins, my little brother, so that when we have kids they can see what we looked like when we were there age. Bet you aint know that did you?
So the other day, Michelle (a very good friend of the family and my ol babysitter) posted a few of my baby pictures on FaceBook, and it made me feel so good to know that my baby pictures are still around, even if they're not in my own crib. Ya wanna see em? Of course ya do! lol
"Yes a picture is worth a thousand words, but there's more to it than that. A picture is the closest thing we'll ever have to time travel. It's not a DeLorean, but by looking at a picture you can be taken back to a moment in time that has been gone since the flash subsided. It is the capturing of a moment that would have been lost and will never return had it not been saved by the lens of a camera. Pictures are treasures that remind us of a time before now. It's one of the biggest reasons I am a photographer today" -Eno Bull-
It really bugs me to know that there isn't too many pictures of me from the time I was around 3 til the time I was around 14. I think to myself: "What will I show my children?" In fact when you think about it picture themselves have changed. Seeing as how technology continues to grow by the day, picture aren't even printed anymore. All we have is FaceBook and our camera phones which will someday surely die out. This is one of the main reasons I became a photographer. I vowed to have pictures of me and my whole family. Especially my cousins, my little brother, so that when we have kids they can see what we looked like when we were there age. Bet you aint know that did you?
So the other day, Michelle (a very good friend of the family and my ol babysitter) posted a few of my baby pictures on FaceBook, and it made me feel so good to know that my baby pictures are still around, even if they're not in my own crib. Ya wanna see em? Of course ya do! lol
^One of my first Photo Shoots^
^Where you said you need my hand?^
lol
^Apparently I was having a bad day^
I knocked everything down from the wall unit
^Stop taking pictures, Please just give^
me my bath
^Hallway monitor^
Ah Ah Ah! Where you goin?
^Partying with my main lady^
My first love, Mommy!
And you thought Jim Jones was the first one to rock the
'Color Purple" braids! Nah Son!
And you thought Jim Jones was the first one to rock the
'Color Purple" braids! Nah Son!
^Aight Mom, I'm tired^
Lets get outta here!
^I still be walkin around with no shirt!^
AAOOWW.
And that's Michelle, peep the hair! lol
^Me and Michelle 2 Weeks ago^
Thanks a mil for the trip down Memory Lane Love!
Thanks a mil for the trip down Memory Lane Love!
Call me conceited if you want.... But Cot Damn I was a gorgeous baby! Makes me confident that my children will be beautiful too. Well that's all I have for ya today. Hope ya enjoyed my baby pics, and if you didn't You's a hatin ass Crab! And ya breath Stinks! lol Later Folks.
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
What Women Want
What's goin on fam?
Got another one I wanna share with ya...
So, it was my homies birthday yesterday. We were talkin and she began to reminisce on past years. Back in high school I really had a huge crush on her, but that's as far I got with it. Back then I must have been uglier than I am now, cause the only stories I was bringin home were the ones about how I liked shorty and almost said something to her on the bus lol. But I digress. For her birthday one year (back in high school) I got her this huge arrangement of a dozen flowers, with a card, and waited for her to get off the bus to hand em to her, or something to that effect. A few niggas walked by and laughed at me, and some of my boys asked me what the hell I was doing carrying these heavy ass flowers. I let em know what the situation was and they laughed too... Lol but you know me, my attitude aint new, I aint care about niggas thoughts of me back then either. So finally shorty gets off her bus and there I am looking like a contestant on a "I wanna Find Love" reality series on VH1 holdin her flowers. I hand them to her, she gives me a kiss.... on the cheek (Word?) lol and we walk to school.
Now I'd tried to kick it to this girl once or twice before but I guess I wasn't gettin the picture, I was determined to get her, but even this 3 ft. long dozen of flowers that weighed about as much as a new born wasn't enough.
So she asked me if I remembered that. I told her, "Of course I do" and she continued to tell me "Damn, no other guy has ever done that for me before, I mean my ex did it, but only once..." so I put on the "Damn" face. You know the one widen your lips, raise your eye brows, shake your head a lil but! lolol. And thats when it hit me: "I just realized, I've been a better boyfriend to some girls without being their boyfriend than their boyfriends were/have been. Crazy right?" I started thinkin, "Damn Eno, you's a sucker nigga!" lmfao. I have no problems admitting to ya that I am a sucker for love, there, you happy? I said it. But after High School, that changed. I'm still the same sucker but only those who I choose to be mine and accept me as theirs will receive that treatment.
So no, I aint gettin you no damn flowers, No I aint writing you no damn poems (and I can write a meeean poem), no, I aint going to sleep on the phone with you listening to your problems, them days are over. I played the nice guy and I barely finished the race let alone finished last. I realized yesterday AGAIN, that Women do NOT want a nice guy. They don't want the guy who does all those things I just mentioned, because it makes him appear weak in their eyes. They don't want that guy because more often that guy lets himself be walked all over. And I assure you that's not the kind of guy I would be anyway, I'm not weak and you can't walk all over me. But that doesn't mean I'm not a nice guy. Instead they want the bad boy, or the thug who's gonna disrespect them, curse them out, cheat on them and or occasionally put his hands on her. Lol, ladies please don't lie, its the truth, cause guess who shorty from my story ended up with.. That's right the nigga who sailed and bailed! I don't need to put her business out there like that and that's not what I'm tryna do, this is about me. It just amazes me of how many girls I liked over the years that I didn't get for one reason or the other. The only common denominator I could think of was being too nice.
So excuse me if I don't show affection as I should in the early stages of courtship, or in situations when it's "just sex." I'm not blaming women, but I am tellin ya I've been there, I've done that... It's only so long you can go on losing the race before you realize "I need a new method." In fact now that I think about it, me fighting so hard to get shorty and not winning back then is probably why I don't fight for the ones I want now, I'm such a pacifist when it comes to that, I figure I aint gonna fight for her if I don't see her fighting for me. I guess that's life right? We live and we learn, I learned the hard way, but now for the most part its F*&k em all... No no no, not like that, I mean literally! lmfao! Later bitches, and ladies! lol
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
Got another one I wanna share with ya...
So, it was my homies birthday yesterday. We were talkin and she began to reminisce on past years. Back in high school I really had a huge crush on her, but that's as far I got with it. Back then I must have been uglier than I am now, cause the only stories I was bringin home were the ones about how I liked shorty and almost said something to her on the bus lol. But I digress. For her birthday one year (back in high school) I got her this huge arrangement of a dozen flowers, with a card, and waited for her to get off the bus to hand em to her, or something to that effect. A few niggas walked by and laughed at me, and some of my boys asked me what the hell I was doing carrying these heavy ass flowers. I let em know what the situation was and they laughed too... Lol but you know me, my attitude aint new, I aint care about niggas thoughts of me back then either. So finally shorty gets off her bus and there I am looking like a contestant on a "I wanna Find Love" reality series on VH1 holdin her flowers. I hand them to her, she gives me a kiss.... on the cheek (Word?) lol and we walk to school.
Now I'd tried to kick it to this girl once or twice before but I guess I wasn't gettin the picture, I was determined to get her, but even this 3 ft. long dozen of flowers that weighed about as much as a new born wasn't enough.
So she asked me if I remembered that. I told her, "Of course I do" and she continued to tell me "Damn, no other guy has ever done that for me before, I mean my ex did it, but only once..." so I put on the "Damn" face. You know the one widen your lips, raise your eye brows, shake your head a lil but! lolol. And thats when it hit me: "I just realized, I've been a better boyfriend to some girls without being their boyfriend than their boyfriends were/have been. Crazy right?" I started thinkin, "Damn Eno, you's a sucker nigga!" lmfao. I have no problems admitting to ya that I am a sucker for love, there, you happy? I said it. But after High School, that changed. I'm still the same sucker but only those who I choose to be mine and accept me as theirs will receive that treatment.
So no, I aint gettin you no damn flowers, No I aint writing you no damn poems (and I can write a meeean poem), no, I aint going to sleep on the phone with you listening to your problems, them days are over. I played the nice guy and I barely finished the race let alone finished last. I realized yesterday AGAIN, that Women do NOT want a nice guy. They don't want the guy who does all those things I just mentioned, because it makes him appear weak in their eyes. They don't want that guy because more often that guy lets himself be walked all over. And I assure you that's not the kind of guy I would be anyway, I'm not weak and you can't walk all over me. But that doesn't mean I'm not a nice guy. Instead they want the bad boy, or the thug who's gonna disrespect them, curse them out, cheat on them and or occasionally put his hands on her. Lol, ladies please don't lie, its the truth, cause guess who shorty from my story ended up with.. That's right the nigga who sailed and bailed! I don't need to put her business out there like that and that's not what I'm tryna do, this is about me. It just amazes me of how many girls I liked over the years that I didn't get for one reason or the other. The only common denominator I could think of was being too nice.
So excuse me if I don't show affection as I should in the early stages of courtship, or in situations when it's "just sex." I'm not blaming women, but I am tellin ya I've been there, I've done that... It's only so long you can go on losing the race before you realize "I need a new method." In fact now that I think about it, me fighting so hard to get shorty and not winning back then is probably why I don't fight for the ones I want now, I'm such a pacifist when it comes to that, I figure I aint gonna fight for her if I don't see her fighting for me. I guess that's life right? We live and we learn, I learned the hard way, but now for the most part its F*&k em all... No no no, not like that, I mean literally! lmfao! Later bitches, and ladies! lol
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
I Love You baby! XOXO!
Gimme a minute as I zone out to "You've been Robbed" by the Notorious B.I.G.....
(You should play it as you read what I'm about to write) 3mins 58secs later.
Alright, We're all here? Are we refreshed and calm? Well I'm bout to ruffle all your feathers back up!
I was called a hater today, not once, but twice maybe 3 or 4 times.... "Why?" you ask, I'll tell you why, because I spoke my opinion, and in this life when you do that that's what people call you. Lol, In fact it says that right there in my mission statement to the left (<). It's the whole reason I even started this blog.
Now as for the situation:
I woke up and like I usually do I turned over, reached for my phone, replied to about 4 or 5 text messages that I got while I slept, checked my email and hit Facebook. This is what I do before I get out of my bed and get my day started. So I log onto Facebook and of course I see a few of the same people posting the same lovey dovey, "I miss my baby," "I Love my boo" statuses, okay that's cool. So I decide to fight it with sarcasm and I announce that I will be posting some statuses just like that, as a form of satire of course. (This is when I was called a hater)
And just like that, at around 9:33 this morning I lit a fire under a few people's asses who hadn't even had their coffee yet! I see you Angie baby! Lmfao. I was called a hater, and I was told to stop and all that good stuff.
So before I continue and lead you to believe that I am some sort of heartless bastard incapable of love and you say I don't know what these people are going through, let me tell ya about the last time I was deeply madly in love. (I've never done this before so bookmark this page if you have to)
Her name was Stephanie. My ex girlfriend... We got together around the time I was 15 and we broke up a lil after I turned 18. Stephanie was my first true love. I aint know what it was to have a real girlfriend before her, I had never felt for another human being what I did for Steph and that's how I knew it was real love. You or no one else can convince me different. I woke up and I felt it was cause of her, I had to hear her voice on the phone before I got out of bed, I had to hear her voice on the phone when I went to bed at night. I wanted to feel the warmth of her hugs. This was real deal Hollyfield! Did I tell her often how much I loved her? Yes I did. Did I tell her often how much I missed her and how much she meant to me? Yes, of course. But that's where it ended. This was in the Myspace and AIM days, so I say that's where it ended because I didn't feel the need to post a 2 paragraph away message telling my whole AIM buddy list how much I loved Stephanie, nor did I feel the need to make it a status on everyone's wall on Myspace. Feel me? How me and her broke up is another story all together so I won't get into that. I simply shared that with ya to say this: What you feel for your spouse should be special and sacred between you and your spouse. As long as your girl or your man knows what you feel for them that's all that matters. You shouldn't promote it all over the internet. In fact doing that makes me think, "Well damn, how much do you really love this person if you can find the time to tell Facebook about it every 15 minutes, shouldn't you be trying to spend some of that time with your baby?"
It annoys me, I see them doing that the same way I see overly flamboyant gay dudes. Its excess... If your gay your gay and that's fine just don't throw it in my face. If you in love well then Cot Dammit that is so beautiful, truth be told I can't wait to be in love again, but please don't throw it in my face. Feel me? Think of it like this: Say you were rolling with someone all day, in your car on the bus or on the train, chillen with your bff or bestie or whatever ya callin em these days and all this person can tell you EVERY SINGLE 10-15 minutes is "Oh my God, I love my boobie," "I miss my boo," "I can't wait to get home and give my baby a kiss and a hug" Well damn bitch! You know how many minutes there is in one day? 1440, divide that by every 15 minutes that's 96 verbal status updates your friend is giving you in one day. You know good and Cot damn well you'd be tired by the 5th one! Am I making this clear to ya?
Aside from all this, these are the same people who can't stand the sight of their significant other just a short 6 weeks later. REALLY? It goes from "I Love you baby" to "Niggas aint shit, it's all about me, I can do better by myself!" Tss, so what ya calling love I call an energy drink. Shit gets you hype and excited and you feel like you can fly for a minute then when the high is gone you crash so hard. What was the point? Take it day by day man, and keep it within the one heart ya should be sharing, don't promote it off billboards on the highway. Cause lemme tell you there's about 3 people on your facebook that really care anyway! the rest are just looking at you like "look at these fools." I know a few of ya don't agree with what I said here today, but that's okay, that's why I have a blog, only those who have a genuine interest in what I have to say will spend some time out of their day reading what I feel. It also says that in my Mission statement to the left (<). Remember folks love is only 4 letters long, but its a VERY VERY strong word. if its true in your heart keep it close, letting it go and throwing it around every where is an easy way to break it.
So what you call "hating" I simply call a failure of acceptance of the truth. You know I'm keepin it real anytime I open my mouth. Enjoy those around you folks. Be safe out there.
Stay Up and Stay tuned
(You should play it as you read what I'm about to write) 3mins 58secs later.
Alright, We're all here? Are we refreshed and calm? Well I'm bout to ruffle all your feathers back up!
I was called a hater today, not once, but twice maybe 3 or 4 times.... "Why?" you ask, I'll tell you why, because I spoke my opinion, and in this life when you do that that's what people call you. Lol, In fact it says that right there in my mission statement to the left (<). It's the whole reason I even started this blog.
Now as for the situation:
I woke up and like I usually do I turned over, reached for my phone, replied to about 4 or 5 text messages that I got while I slept, checked my email and hit Facebook. This is what I do before I get out of my bed and get my day started. So I log onto Facebook and of course I see a few of the same people posting the same lovey dovey, "I miss my baby," "I Love my boo" statuses, okay that's cool. So I decide to fight it with sarcasm and I announce that I will be posting some statuses just like that, as a form of satire of course. (This is when I was called a hater)
And just like that, at around 9:33 this morning I lit a fire under a few people's asses who hadn't even had their coffee yet! I see you Angie baby! Lmfao. I was called a hater, and I was told to stop and all that good stuff.
So before I continue and lead you to believe that I am some sort of heartless bastard incapable of love and you say I don't know what these people are going through, let me tell ya about the last time I was deeply madly in love. (I've never done this before so bookmark this page if you have to)
Her name was Stephanie. My ex girlfriend... We got together around the time I was 15 and we broke up a lil after I turned 18. Stephanie was my first true love. I aint know what it was to have a real girlfriend before her, I had never felt for another human being what I did for Steph and that's how I knew it was real love. You or no one else can convince me different. I woke up and I felt it was cause of her, I had to hear her voice on the phone before I got out of bed, I had to hear her voice on the phone when I went to bed at night. I wanted to feel the warmth of her hugs. This was real deal Hollyfield! Did I tell her often how much I loved her? Yes I did. Did I tell her often how much I missed her and how much she meant to me? Yes, of course. But that's where it ended. This was in the Myspace and AIM days, so I say that's where it ended because I didn't feel the need to post a 2 paragraph away message telling my whole AIM buddy list how much I loved Stephanie, nor did I feel the need to make it a status on everyone's wall on Myspace. Feel me? How me and her broke up is another story all together so I won't get into that. I simply shared that with ya to say this: What you feel for your spouse should be special and sacred between you and your spouse. As long as your girl or your man knows what you feel for them that's all that matters. You shouldn't promote it all over the internet. In fact doing that makes me think, "Well damn, how much do you really love this person if you can find the time to tell Facebook about it every 15 minutes, shouldn't you be trying to spend some of that time with your baby?"
It annoys me, I see them doing that the same way I see overly flamboyant gay dudes. Its excess... If your gay your gay and that's fine just don't throw it in my face. If you in love well then Cot Dammit that is so beautiful, truth be told I can't wait to be in love again, but please don't throw it in my face. Feel me? Think of it like this: Say you were rolling with someone all day, in your car on the bus or on the train, chillen with your bff or bestie or whatever ya callin em these days and all this person can tell you EVERY SINGLE 10-15 minutes is "Oh my God, I love my boobie," "I miss my boo," "I can't wait to get home and give my baby a kiss and a hug" Well damn bitch! You know how many minutes there is in one day? 1440, divide that by every 15 minutes that's 96 verbal status updates your friend is giving you in one day. You know good and Cot damn well you'd be tired by the 5th one! Am I making this clear to ya?
Aside from all this, these are the same people who can't stand the sight of their significant other just a short 6 weeks later. REALLY? It goes from "I Love you baby" to "Niggas aint shit, it's all about me, I can do better by myself!" Tss, so what ya calling love I call an energy drink. Shit gets you hype and excited and you feel like you can fly for a minute then when the high is gone you crash so hard. What was the point? Take it day by day man, and keep it within the one heart ya should be sharing, don't promote it off billboards on the highway. Cause lemme tell you there's about 3 people on your facebook that really care anyway! the rest are just looking at you like "look at these fools." I know a few of ya don't agree with what I said here today, but that's okay, that's why I have a blog, only those who have a genuine interest in what I have to say will spend some time out of their day reading what I feel. It also says that in my Mission statement to the left (<). Remember folks love is only 4 letters long, but its a VERY VERY strong word. if its true in your heart keep it close, letting it go and throwing it around every where is an easy way to break it.
So what you call "hating" I simply call a failure of acceptance of the truth. You know I'm keepin it real anytime I open my mouth. Enjoy those around you folks. Be safe out there.
Stay Up and Stay tuned
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Untitled
FIRST AND FOREMOST ALLOW ME TO STATE THAT THESE ARE THE LAST WORDS THAT WILL EVER BE SPOKEN BY ME ON BEHALF OF THIS SUBJECT.
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I woke up today in a great mood... Life was good, I had (still have) air in my lungs, and I woke up with the 5 senses I went to sleep with. But ya know this is my life I'm talkin about, nothing that begins well ever ends well...
I had no plans today aside from meeting up with Mylez and heading over to Dwayne's crib to get started on the filming for his second video. D doesn't live too far but we wanted to shoot in a few different spots and the idea of walking to all of them or walking to and from a train station all day wasn't at all pleasant.
So I figured I'd ask Rudy (my mother's husband) if i could borrow his car. I walk to his room and ask and get shut down, Shocker right? That's fine, I don't care, I would have been more surprised had he granted me the permission to take it. But I digress... I walk back to the living room and sit down to wait for Mylez, who would have driven seeing as how all I have is a permit and I don't have my contacts in, so I can't drive.
He follows me back out from his room and asks me what I need the car for. This is not unusual at all, in fact he always instinctively says no to any and everything, and then decides to think and inquire as to why someone would request anything from him. So I explain to him: "I'm going to Dwayne's house, and then we have to go to Intervale and one other spot, we're gonna be shooting a video." He then asks: "Do you get paid for that? All I hear is videos and pictures but I don't see shit" (by see shit he means revenue) I replied: "Listens its okay, I'll walk I don't need the car" because by now I had already tuned him out, then came the dagger through the heart. "You gotta find a way to do something for yourself, do something with your life!" FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER!
The nerve of this nigga! He doesn't know the first thing about me, if it weren't for the fact that he sleeps in my mothers room he would just be another fucking strange face on the streets. It would be a different story if he knew what my goals and all my hopes and dreams were but me and this man have never had ONE conversation.... That's not in anyway shape or form a joke, an exaggeration or lie, my (I say this with great hesitation) father and I have never had One conversation and we've been living in the same household together for 23 years! So where does he get off trying to tell me that I have to do something with my life.
I know he has no idea that this blog even exists, I mean shit I claim for his unemployment every week via the internet because he doesn't even know how to turn a computer on. But I wish he did so that he can read these words: "I am gonna do something with my life, as a matter of fact scratch that, I AM doing something with my life, and no it doesn't pay as much as it should right now, but when the faucet opens and pours down on me its gonna pay more than you've ever seen in your entire life, and guess what? Unless my mother decides to share her portion with you, you won't see one red cent!" I mean that from the deepest and darkest corner of my beating heart.
I used to lie in my bed and ask God how he could curse me with the father he did, but now 23 years later I realize that it wasn't a curse, it was a blessing. God has given me the blueprint of the man NOT to be.... The father and the husband that no one wants. Thank you Lord, I appreciate what you've placed before me. The lesson you've been trying to teach me all these years has been learned.
So I don't want his car, in fact when I get home I'm gonna take the spare keys that I have and put them back on his night stand, I don't want his money, I'd much rather starve than to buy a piece of bread with any money that comes from his pocket, Lord forbid I were ever to catch fire and he be the only person around to save me, because I would much rather die by burning to death than to know I was saved by him, I will not owe him my life a second time. I just don't know what hurts more, knowing that I lost my father today or knowing that I never really had one in the first place. Peace
and btw I walked to my boys crib, the shots for his up coming video came out great. It means more to me than he'll ever understand because to me its beginning marks the first day of the rest of my life. Theres only one way to go from here and that's up, and when I'm there I'll be too far to see those who didn't believe in me. Dueces ya!
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Flowers for the Dead
I was on the train last month and the thought of my baby cousin Tamara came about... I tend to think of her from time to time and it makes me a little sad. Sad because I think of the great life she'd probably still have had she not passed away 8 years ago. So like I often do when I feel deeply enough about something I wrote about it. I typed it out on my phone and just kept it there til today. So I figured I'd share it with you guys. I entitled it "Flowers for the Dead" because although its about her I mentioned my grandmother, uncles and a friend of mine Ronnie, all of whom are no longer here with us. So this is "Flowers for the Dead"
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You would have been 12 this year, 13 next month in fact... Gone too soon is what we all said.. Damn I still can't believe your.... 7 years later and that's still the 4 letter word that I can't say. I miss you baby girl but the pain that I feel is only a candle in the sun that is your mothers pain. I swear not one time have I seen her flash the same smile that she would within the short 5 years you were with us. Another man would curse God. Curse him for taking away my uncles, my grandma, my man from the block, my aunt's beautiful smile, but worse of all your life. I mean damn it barely even began.... But I'm not an atheist, I wouldn't curse my God. I just have to make my peace with him and understand that he needed you and all those other people more than I needed them. I guess this is just my flowers for the dead, hey look I said it... Your all gone but your never forgotten. Tamara I love you baby girl. It hurts 100 times more than the needle that tattooed your name into my skin just knowing your gone. They say God takes all the great ones first, which explains how I could possibly outlive you. But til we meet again, I love you baby.... Happy Birthday.
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You would have been 12 this year, 13 next month in fact... Gone too soon is what we all said.. Damn I still can't believe your.... 7 years later and that's still the 4 letter word that I can't say. I miss you baby girl but the pain that I feel is only a candle in the sun that is your mothers pain. I swear not one time have I seen her flash the same smile that she would within the short 5 years you were with us. Another man would curse God. Curse him for taking away my uncles, my grandma, my man from the block, my aunt's beautiful smile, but worse of all your life. I mean damn it barely even began.... But I'm not an atheist, I wouldn't curse my God. I just have to make my peace with him and understand that he needed you and all those other people more than I needed them. I guess this is just my flowers for the dead, hey look I said it... Your all gone but your never forgotten. Tamara I love you baby girl. It hurts 100 times more than the needle that tattooed your name into my skin just knowing your gone. They say God takes all the great ones first, which explains how I could possibly outlive you. But til we meet again, I love you baby.... Happy Birthday.
^Tamara^
May she Rest in Peace
I was debating whether or not I was going to share her picture with you guys, but I figured it couldn't hurt.
Stay up Folks.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Listening to Progression
What's going on Bull Penners? How's work treating ya for those of ya who had to go back already? Well I got some nonsense for ya to slack on wit!
Ya remember a few months back when I told ya I had plans of stretching my ears (lobes) right? If you don't click right here son! Aight well Around Early November (I believe) I began stretching. As you can see I haven't documented it too well lolol. I just know that I've gone through a few tapers already and honestly I'm happy with the progress thus far.
So with the help of my little brother's girlfriend, who also has been stretching her ears, I've been steppin it up every couple weeks. My homegirl Bebe told me I might be moving too fast tho, so after the last ones which I put in on December 5th I slowed down a bit. So the next ones will be going in sometime during the middle of the month.
Thus far the experience of having them has been cool... to me at least. Some people disagree with it and even say some things that would be hurtful if I were the type to allow words to hurt lol. Others say: "You know? It doesn't look that bad!" some just stare, DWAYNE! Lmao, but for the most part the only complaint I can think of is how much this shit hurts when its first put in. It stings like nobody's business, and it makes it a lil uncomfortable to sleep, unless you can manage sleeping coffin style with your head directly on the pillow facing up (which I can't) lol
I don't have too many clear pictures of me in them because like I said I haven't been documenting the progress til now, but I enhanced these two (^) a bit to show ya how they look. I'll try to take more pics of me in them til I reach my goal size which is half an Inch! AAAOOOWWW!
So yeah man, that's my ear stretching progress so far.... Oh and before I forget, got some videos for ya of me getting them put in!
Check em out:
Stay up and Stay Tuned Folks!
Ya remember a few months back when I told ya I had plans of stretching my ears (lobes) right? If you don't click right here son! Aight well Around Early November (I believe) I began stretching. As you can see I haven't documented it too well lolol. I just know that I've gone through a few tapers already and honestly I'm happy with the progress thus far.
So with the help of my little brother's girlfriend, who also has been stretching her ears, I've been steppin it up every couple weeks. My homegirl Bebe told me I might be moving too fast tho, so after the last ones which I put in on December 5th I slowed down a bit. So the next ones will be going in sometime during the middle of the month.
Thus far the experience of having them has been cool... to me at least. Some people disagree with it and even say some things that would be hurtful if I were the type to allow words to hurt lol. Others say: "You know? It doesn't look that bad!" some just stare, DWAYNE! Lmao, but for the most part the only complaint I can think of is how much this shit hurts when its first put in. It stings like nobody's business, and it makes it a lil uncomfortable to sleep, unless you can manage sleeping coffin style with your head directly on the pillow facing up (which I can't) lol
^Took Pictures of all the Tapers I've gone through so far^
I'm not 100% sure if these sizes are accurate so please don't kill me if I'm off.
^My last two default pics^
I don't have too many clear pictures of me in them because like I said I haven't been documenting the progress til now, but I enhanced these two (^) a bit to show ya how they look. I'll try to take more pics of me in them til I reach my goal size which is half an Inch! AAAOOOWWW!
So yeah man, that's my ear stretching progress so far.... Oh and before I forget, got some videos for ya of me getting them put in!
Check em out:
^This is from when I got the sz. 4G tapers^
^This is the most recent when I got the 0G tapers^
[CLICK IMAGES TO ENLARGE]
My video editing skills suck major ass right now so bare with me. lolol
Stay up and Stay Tuned Folks!
Monday, January 3, 2011
2011 is Home!
HAPPY NEW YEAR MOTHA LOVAHS!(POURING CHAMPAGNE ALL OVER YOU AND YOUR CAR LIKE CAM IN "PAID IN FULL")LOL
Whats good baby? Did ya miss me? Ya shouldn't have I been here all along! Well Two oh, double one is here, another 12 months of doing what we do (hopefully living life to the fullest) Cause like my home girl Reese said: "Aint shit changed over here" lol, but that's another discussion all together.
As ya may or may not know I'm super family oriented and I take any and all opportunities to hang out with them so like every other year that's what I was doing on the eve of the New Year. As far as family goes, I have 2, the one God gave me, and the one I chose, and they are who this post is about. Not really much I can tell ya about my boys that I haven't already told ya in the past.
Lemme break down the event to ya: Che hit us all up in an effort to unite us for a Section 8, 4T'Reign, BXL annual reunion. Now if I lost you bare with me... As you all know BXL is the 3 man group made up of Joe Dirt, Severe Jones, and Buddy Mylez. But before they were BXL they were '4T'Reign' which was the same 3 plus a 4th, the 4th being Che.... And before they were 4T'Reign, they were Section 8, which was all 4 plus Mayo (who went by Epidemik at the time) and my boy Zo Dot. So there's a quick lil BXL music history lesson. For lack of a better word there's just been some down sizing. So the whole idea of the reunion is to vibe out and reminisce over the old days with some video games and drinks thrown in the mix.
So Che hit us all up on facebook to invite us and we all of course RSVP'd: YES! lol. We linked up (like always) at head quarters, Reg's Crib! Played all the old songs, remembered what went down around the time they were recorded, had a few drinks while we played Street Fighter ii on Che's Super Nintendo (I think it might be mine but that's also another post all together lolol) and of course whats a night with all of us together without a (Pause) long, heart felt session of serious Ass cutting! lol.....
So the guest list was as Follows: Reg (PBM), Che, Zo, Jayo (Epidemik), Severe, Dirt, Mylez, Devo, Blaze, Penny, Jun, Myself, and a few of the ladies from the circle were also in attendance, Mel, Stace and Emily. We got together on Thursday, the eve of New Year's Eve. Lol. It was an amazing way to seal the year off man, ya already know I love time spent with my nigga. So With all that said and done I'd like to share the pictures I took with ya:
They're not in any particular order:
^No Shoes past this point, Reg don't play that with the carpet^
^DJ Che Kidd on the 1's and 2's^
^Che getting it in '92 Style^
^We had to come up with 5 Stacks for a Devo Diamond walk through^
^Joe Dirt playing Che Kidd^
^You Know I wear my Crown!^
^Focused^
^Hennesy and BlackBerrys^
^Jun playing Jayo^
^Melissa the BBM Fiend^
^I call this one:
Penny for your Thoughts^
^Penny on 2k11^
^I call this one:
"Since Grass Hoppers"^
^Down+Right+X^
^The Tournament^
^Big ass bottle of Corona
nigga at the store gave it to him with the Sparkles!
^Peep our Sounds^
^These Boots Made the night Kidd!^
LMFAO!
[CLICK PHOTOS TO ENLARGE]
I really couldn't begin to explain to you how much fun I had and how much i laughed this night, I laughed so hard I thought I was gonna die! lmfao! Guess it was one of those "You had to be there" nights. But really, It was a great wrap up to a great year. Ya already know I don't do the whole "New Year, New me" bullshit, Imma just continue to live my life like I always have. I hope 2010 treated ya well, if it didn't you got another 12 months to put your foot up the ass of all your dreams! lol. AND, my blog turns 3 years old this year!
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
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