What's good ya?
Yo fellas, lemme ask you something: You ever be having conversation with a female and you tell her about a girl you like and she gives you a list of hatin ass reasons why you shouldn't? Like: "Eww, you like her? Why? You know everything on her is fake right?" Or something like: "You know she got a man right?" Lol, So what trick!? Why you hatin' Lol!
Anyway, that had absolutely nothing to do with today's post although I may use it for a future post.
But anyway, onto today's business.
Have ya, by any change seen the video of Hov speaking at a rally or something of that nature in Philedelphia to promote a project he has alongside Budweiser?
Well if you haven't try to find it and fast forward to about 3:45 in the video where Jay actually starts talking. He goes on for a while and mentions what he'll be doing with this program and then goes on to say how he feels Philedelphia has always had talent and yadda yadda yadda. I would go into more detail but ya lazy ass can go and find the video so that you can see what I'm talkin about. Lol.
At this point Freeway, a Philly native and former (I believe) RocaFeller Records (Jay-z's Record label) recording artist came up on stage. Okay, so this is where it gets interesting.
Jay, who is of course in some un doubtedly expensive sneakers under a pair of fitted jeans, a white tee and a blazers seems to be un appreciative of Freeways presence. Freeway who is in a regular graphic tee and some baggy jeans seems to simply want to support a former co-worker and friend in his endevours to promote any positive movements in his hometown, is standing there waiting for Jay to finish speaking. Jay barely aknowledged him and didn't even give the brother dap. (That's a hand shake for those of ya who may not be too savy with the slang. Lol)
So when the moment comes for a picture to be taken, while the entire audience is watching and the cameras are rolling, Jay very politely and discreetly places his hand on Free's back without saying a word and sways him away from the stage! Damn Homie! Lol
I was watchin the video thinkin: "..................." That's right I didn't know what to think, I just know I didn't like it.
Let's analyze this together shall we?
Looking at it from all angles, there is some fault here on both parties. For starters, no matter how excited he was, Free should have practiced a little more restraint and realized that this had very little or nothing to do with him and stayed in the audience instead of coming up on the stage. Because now in the long run what happens is you end up lookin like the guy that got denied a dance at the club during that ONE song that you NEED a partner to dance with. All your boys are ridin cheeks, and you just so happen to be standing under the spot light cold and alone! And Nobody wants to be that guy. Lol So that's one part.
However, Hov, knowing this man personally should have practiced a little more humility and allowed his former co-worker and friend a chance to enjoy the glory of the moment. Yeah this had little to nothing to do with him, but shit, don't treat homie like Lil Mama at the MTV awards! that's foul. At some point or another you've broken bread with this man and now you alienate him in public and treat him like some bum on the street who tried to get in your picture.... I mean I'm sure there's more that went into Jay's thought process when he was doing what he did, but I'm only going off of what I saw on the video.
So lemme tell you how I feel about this, although (like I said) there was fault on both sides, the Jerk Award goes to (Drum roll please) Hova the god.
And now I'll tell you why, I have a problem with even the idea of people getting too big for their britches. Yes, you are a multi millionaire, you have fine suits, a Hollywood famous Bombshell wife, you ride in very expensive cars have your own jets, and are involved with several big businesses. But brother, please don't ever forget you came from the same pissy hallways in Marcy projects in Brooklyn that so many other people came from. You came from the same struggles, the same street corners you were cut from the same cloth as the rest of us. yeah you worked hard to get to where you are and I commend you for that, no one can take that from you, but you know good and Cot Damn well you werent born with a silver spoon in your mouth.
Hov is my favorite rapper but I don't like seeing people become too big to show the little people anymore. I hate feeling that someone think they are better than the rest simply because they have more 0's in their bank account.
What happened to the Jay-Z that came to TRL on a scooter and a Du-Rag, the one that said "Went to MTV in Du-Rags, I made them love you" You being in reference to the guys on the streets. What happened to the Jay-Z that said "thug nigga til the end tell a friend Bitch, Won't change for no paper plus I been rich" looks like that nigga changed!
And I'm not saying don't change, cause of course we all have to change, it's a part of our evolution, its a part of growing up and getting older. But change for the better. Do I make any sense? It's very possible to change and not forget. And that's all I'm sayin.
Same goes for Kanye, another one that I'm a fan of, but he's on Twitter airing me and a million other people out. Saying he hates seeing people in Button up shirts and hoodies, off brand sneakers and sweat pants, etc. etc. etc. meanwhile this is the same man who got on a stage with a womans blouse and has been seen parading around town in leather skinny jeans!? Come the fuck on bruh, don't spit on your fans cause you don't like their wardrobe, You another one, you were wearing Jordans and a white tee last week, now you got some bread its all Margiela kicks and Versace furniture? have a seat on that fancy silk couch my man. Humble your self. You went from "tank on empty, whippin my mommas Volvo" to "Lamborghini Mercy" with no stops in between. Cut it out b!
I find myself wondering, is this what being wealthy is about? Is it possible to become stupid filthy rich without becoming a fuckin jerk!? Would Oprah shit on me if she bumped into me on the street tomorrow cause I'm not dressed a certain way or because she doesn't recognize me from the Fortune 500 club? If that's what it's about you can keep it. In fact I'd like to say a prayer right now:
Dear God,
When I become rich, please remeber to keep me planted to the ground, Remind me that I am not stronger than the earths gravitational pull.
As for the homies on that "Otis" record, the ones that asked us to "Watch the Throne" all I ask is that ya remember where ya came from. You 2 niggas are men from Brooklyn and Chicago. No matter how hard you try to make the rest of the people believe that you are royalty, at the end of the day, me and a whole bunch of other people still see you two as regular human beings. Hov wasn't your song called "never Change"? Yeah, I thought it was.
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
Friday, May 18, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Mothers Day
From your womb I came into this world
kicking and screaming,
cold and alone, til the moment the doctor placed me in your arms.
Nearest to your heart, I laid in your arms and from that moment I knew
that I would never again feel cold and alone.
A mother is a best friend from the Lord above.
And Lord knows I've never known a better friend than you,
Mom.
Good Morning all....
That was my attempt at a Mothers Day Poem off the top of my head. Lol, so what it doesn't rhyme. Lol
Anyway, I just wanted to take some time out to talk to my mommy through the art of written words.
Dear Mom,
For as long as I can remember, you've always been my best friend. I could always confide in you and trust that you will both understand and never judge me. We've been through a lot over the years. You've become my financial and spiritual adviser lol, my therapist, and just an overall cool ass mom son! < See what I did there? Lol. There's no words in the English language or in any other for that matter that could ever begin to explain the amount of love I have and always will have for you, to explain to you how grateful I am that I have you. You've done a tremendous job raising me and my little brother, and when I look at you, I can't help but thank God a million times for giving me the best mom in the world. Te quiero mucho mami, que Dios the bendiga.
Me and My Mommy's Mommy Yesterday
All I had to do was say "Say Cheeeese Grandma"
and she lit up like a Light bulb.
I thank God for her everyday!
L to: R
Me, My lil brother Rudy and Mommy Dearest!
This was Rudy's Graduation
Me and My Queen!
I Love you Mom!
So to my mom and to all the mothers in the world, please know that Mothers Day is everyday. Every morning that you wake up to have your babies up and ready for school, everyday that you change a diaper or stay up through the night because your child is sick, every time you worry cause your kids are going out with their friends or whatever else, we (your children) are appreciating you.
To all the single mothers your appreciation is more than doubled. Everyone knows being a mom is the hardest job in the world, but it's even harder when you have to do it alone. To all my aunts, my friends with children, I love you all. Happy Mothers Day!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Honduras 2012 Pt. II
Yaaoooooooowwww!
Ya Llege!
Lol, excuse me, I'm still in vacation mode til 6am tomorrow morning therefore some of my words are still comin out in spanish! But anyway, I'm back. Did you miss me? Lol
For those who didn't know and just plain haven't been paying attention, I went to Honduras for 10 days. It was beyond beautiful, like it always is. 10 days without a phone, without internet, without any technical connection to the concrete jungle and any world like it. Just me and my family in a village in Honduras that we call Santa Fe.
Really I'd have to sit in front of the computer for about 10 more days to fully explain to you how great it was and what fun I had but as we all know I don't have that kind of time. So instead I'll post a few pictures and a link to the full album on my Flickr. They say a picture speaks 1000 words, well I have about 725 or so of em and a few videos.... You do the math! Lol
Ya Llege!
Lol, excuse me, I'm still in vacation mode til 6am tomorrow morning therefore some of my words are still comin out in spanish! But anyway, I'm back. Did you miss me? Lol
For those who didn't know and just plain haven't been paying attention, I went to Honduras for 10 days. It was beyond beautiful, like it always is. 10 days without a phone, without internet, without any technical connection to the concrete jungle and any world like it. Just me and my family in a village in Honduras that we call Santa Fe.
Really I'd have to sit in front of the computer for about 10 more days to fully explain to you how great it was and what fun I had but as we all know I don't have that kind of time. So instead I'll post a few pictures and a link to the full album on my Flickr. They say a picture speaks 1000 words, well I have about 725 or so of em and a few videos.... You do the math! Lol
^First image of my trip....^
My Cock! Lolol
^Grandma's Crib^
Ol G been House crippin sin 89!
Lol
^House in the Hills^
^Santa Fe^
^Palm Trees Everywhere^
^My First Meal of the Trip^
I Believe.... Lol
^Loani^
^New Default^
^Topogio^
(toe 'po 'gee 'oh)
^Bout to Set the Sun^
There's a whole lot more here with a few more descriptions and such: http://www.flickr.com/photos/48199448@N04/6934961904/in/set-72157629824207673 <--- Click and Enjoy! I'll probably write more sometime tomorrow.
As for now I'm gonna enjoy the remainder of my vacation. Peace! Lol
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
Honduras 2012
I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
Just in case you missed me, that's where I been. I'll be back in a few hours with a post and some pics!
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
Just in case you missed me, that's where I been. I'll be back in a few hours with a post and some pics!
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Quarter to 8 (Super Random)
Good Morning Bull Penners!
Oaky, so it's 7:45am on a Saturday morning... Yes, Right now! I know, I'm asking myself what I'm doin up too. So I'll tell you. Here goes: Yesterday when I got home from work all I wanted was to enjoy a lil smoke and float away to where ever my body would take me. Kids, don't do drugs! (I feel I have to put that disclaimer up even tho I don't really feel that weed is a drug lol, but anyhoo) So prior to purchasing my medicine, I went to the store to buy munchies, cause there's no way I was gonna walk to the store after I smoked, shit would have felt like it took an hour. So I went, got some salt & vinegar potato chips, some cap'n crunch cereal and a honey roasted turkey sandwich with bacon on a hero. Yea it was that serious.
Came back, went to the back yard and lit my spliff. Lemme tell ya somethin... The highest I ever been was back on July 12th, 2009. I remember it like it was yesterday, it was the night of our company party at Dave and Busters on Time Square back when I was workin at 'TopMan.' Me and a few of my co-workers (I'm leavin out names cause I don't want to indict nobody) decided to pregame HARD! We each got a personal bottle of our liquor of choice and ciphed about 4 blunts which all had a different type of weed in em. For those of you who may be a lil lost on what that means, a cipher is simply a circle of people passing the blunt around takin hits and passin it on. The word comes from Hip-Hop but I won't get into that, I aint google. Movin on, when I tell you I was smacked, I mean 4 fingers, a thumb, and a hot palm straight to the side of my face b! The earth was spinnin diagonally.
Since I haven't been as high..... Til Last night!
I bought a dime and faced it. Again for those who are stuck, a dime is $10 worth of weed and faced it means I smoked it by myself. After that I took about 3 hits from another blunt that was being ciphed. Son! SON!
Listen to me, the room was spinnin and I don't even know how to describe my vision, you ever see a movie where the camera looks like it was shooting in front of a bunch of fun house mirrors to depict the person going crazy, like drunk or high or delusional or something? That's how everything looked. To the point that I almost even became paranoid. I remember everything clearly. I watched Mike Epps and Donnell Rawlins standup and I thought I was gonna die from the lack of breathing from laughin so hard. Lol. The munchies tasted like fine italian cuisine that's how amazing they tasted. Lol. Afterwards we popped open a bottle of wine that I got at work, it was very sour, but who cares I just think it was very boss of me to smoke a blunt and sip on some fine wine, don't you? Nigga I still even remember my dreams from last night, I think I still may be a liiiiiil high actually. Lol. Good effin times man!
Oaky, so it's 7:45am on a Saturday morning... Yes, Right now! I know, I'm asking myself what I'm doin up too. So I'll tell you. Here goes: Yesterday when I got home from work all I wanted was to enjoy a lil smoke and float away to where ever my body would take me. Kids, don't do drugs! (I feel I have to put that disclaimer up even tho I don't really feel that weed is a drug lol, but anyhoo) So prior to purchasing my medicine, I went to the store to buy munchies, cause there's no way I was gonna walk to the store after I smoked, shit would have felt like it took an hour. So I went, got some salt & vinegar potato chips, some cap'n crunch cereal and a honey roasted turkey sandwich with bacon on a hero. Yea it was that serious.
Came back, went to the back yard and lit my spliff. Lemme tell ya somethin... The highest I ever been was back on July 12th, 2009. I remember it like it was yesterday, it was the night of our company party at Dave and Busters on Time Square back when I was workin at 'TopMan.' Me and a few of my co-workers (I'm leavin out names cause I don't want to indict nobody) decided to pregame HARD! We each got a personal bottle of our liquor of choice and ciphed about 4 blunts which all had a different type of weed in em. For those of you who may be a lil lost on what that means, a cipher is simply a circle of people passing the blunt around takin hits and passin it on. The word comes from Hip-Hop but I won't get into that, I aint google. Movin on, when I tell you I was smacked, I mean 4 fingers, a thumb, and a hot palm straight to the side of my face b! The earth was spinnin diagonally.
^That's the night this was taken.^
Don't know who's Georgi that was, but you see
me reachin for the ash tray.
Photo: Courtesy of the homie JKissi!
Since I haven't been as high..... Til Last night!
I bought a dime and faced it. Again for those who are stuck, a dime is $10 worth of weed and faced it means I smoked it by myself. After that I took about 3 hits from another blunt that was being ciphed. Son! SON!
Listen to me, the room was spinnin and I don't even know how to describe my vision, you ever see a movie where the camera looks like it was shooting in front of a bunch of fun house mirrors to depict the person going crazy, like drunk or high or delusional or something? That's how everything looked. To the point that I almost even became paranoid. I remember everything clearly. I watched Mike Epps and Donnell Rawlins standup and I thought I was gonna die from the lack of breathing from laughin so hard. Lol. The munchies tasted like fine italian cuisine that's how amazing they tasted. Lol. Afterwards we popped open a bottle of wine that I got at work, it was very sour, but who cares I just think it was very boss of me to smoke a blunt and sip on some fine wine, don't you? Nigga I still even remember my dreams from last night, I think I still may be a liiiiiil high actually. Lol. Good effin times man!
^Just like that I found a reason^
to love my back yard! Lol
Anyway, movin on to the rest of the randomosity that is going on in my head. I'm sittin here patiently waitin for my vacation man! I'm going to Honduras for 10 days. Ooooooowwwweeeee! I cannot wait. 10 days of beach goin, drinkin, partyin and actin a fool without a care in the world. Shit is gonna be epic. I haven't been out there since 06, so you know I'm hype! My bag is already packed, My carry on will be packed by tonight and from there the only thing left to do is wait til the 4th! AAAOOOWWW! Lol.
I just got my passport the other day and I'm very proud of the picture that I used for it. Lol, you know I'm a clown right? I thought to myself: "How effin cool would it be to take the picture for my passport with a bowtie on? Lol I put on a black shirt, black bowtie and got the picture taken. Oh you don't believe me? Peep:
^LMFAO^
Lookin like my name is
Eno Muhammad Allah Understanding
My big homie CFK says I look like a Terrorist, and told me not to wear big rubber shoes when I go to the airport. Lololol. I guess that's his way of wishing me luck. Lol
But I don't need any extra luck, you know I always carry my Lucky rabbits foot with me!
Of course I carry a lucky rabbits foot. Lol, nah lemme explain. I'm like the least superstitious person you will ever meet. I don't fear black cats, I'd walk under a ladder if I had to and Friday the 13th is just a cool sounding calandar date to me.
But I will admit I do kinda sorta believe in good and bad luck. A liiiiiiil bit. Lol. When I turned 17 my aunt gave me a "Lucky Dollar" and it's still in my wallet til this day. You wouldn't believe how many times I've been down to my very last nickle and thought to myself, "Fuck it, imma use that buck, but I just can't do it. That dollar is probably one of the reasons why I haven't starved to death! Lol
The other day tho I found another form of luck (for me at least.)
Look what I found on the floor of the 19 bus stop:
^My Lucky Bordeaux Rabbit's Foot^
Lol, are you confused yet? Well pull up a seat, here's where Eno takes pride in teaching his audience something new.
Back in 1992, the greatest basketball player of ALL time, Mr. Michael Jeffrey Air Jordan released the 7th installment in the Jordan sneaker line. The 7's (seen in the picture above in baby size) were worn by Buggs Bunny in the ads for the sneaker which earned them the name "Hare 7's." The hares were this very same style, except in a different color. The Hares were white and red with a greyish color mixed in. So when I found this baby shoe that day I thought to myself, "Oh snap, it's a pair of baby 7's. It aint the hares but it's the same sneaker. And there's only one so it's like I found a rabbits foot" You get it now? Lol Nevermind me man, I'm just pourin out the shit in my head.
I got a new Tattoo..... Wanna see it? NO! Lol.
Nah, I really can't show it tho. It's like my first "Personal" tattoo so to speak. They're all personal, but this one is probably the most personal.
But I can at least explain how I mean it.
You've heard the expression "Wears his emotion on his sleeve" right? Basically a person who is very upfront with how they are feelin. They damn near wear it like a mask on their face. Well that's me. There are no grey areas with me and expressin how I feel. You'll know when I'm happy or pissed off, upset, whatever. However, Buddy told me I have to learn to control that. So I'm proud to say that more recently only the people who actually know me know when I'm feelin what I'm feelin. I'm learning not to let everyone in, especially those who I don't know and trust too well. Emotions are a very funny thing and lettin other people know them can lead to them controlling them. And that can be dangerous. So now I almost know how to cover up everything with a smile. My mask is deceiving, not always but you know. But if you know me that well then there's no need for a mask. If I trust you then I can show you my emotions comfortably.
So, I got a tattoo hidden in my sleeve that represents me "Wearing my heart on my sleeve" but you can only see it sittin there if you know me well enough. See what I did there? Lol.
^Maybe this is it right here!^
Lmfao!
Well I guess that's the end of this post... I'm gonna go see if there's still any Cap'n Crunch left! Ha!
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Torn Apart (Thinkin to Myself)
What's goin on ya'll?
First and foremost, I know, I know.... I been MIA. I'm sorry, I haven't been finding the time to post these days. In fact I just deleted about 5 pending posts that I started but never revisited. So that should show you that I been tryin lol. Anyway, no excuses, I'll try to get back on it again.
But anyway, I just woke up from a 2-3 hour nap on the couch and as I got up and walked from one sleepin place to an another (my bed) I began to think to myself "Damn bruh, Saturday night, and you home?" Lol, yeah I am, and honestly I don't see anythin wrong with that, however I then thought to myself "It's time to find that significant other." Yeah, that's what this is about. I think I might have written about this before, but whatever, imma discuss it again.
I put on a real good front, but at the end of the day, when I'm going to sleep and I'm alone with my thoughts, I start to think that I'm gettin older and I need someone to laugh with, someone to roll with and someone to say good night to other than my boys and my family. It's funny cause people always tell you to enjoy being single and I KNOW that relationships are nothin but headaches and bullshit, but hey, I'm human, I want those headaches and that bullshit. I feel like Will Smith in "Hancock." Ya ever seen that movie? He was a super hero who never aged, but the closer he got to the love of his life, his other half, the more human he became losing his powers and all that. Being single is the equivalent to being the hero here, and bein honest, I don't mind losing my powers.
So I think about it, and for the first time ever I'm admitting that I must doing somethin wrong here. So I started to think back. The last 2 girls I was talkin to and gettin to know didn't work out. Wanna here how those two fell apart? Yeah sure I'll tell you.
The first one: We'd known each other for a while through some mutual friends and business partners, but we never really spoke til she started paying more attention to my tweets (or at least that's how I remember it.) So, me being who I am, I thought to myself "See what's up, maybe she likes you" and decided to give her my math. She was a lil hesitant to hit me up for whatever reason but she finally did and before you knew it we couldn't stop talkin on the phone. We hung out a few times and even started to express the fact that we were feelin each other and that it was quite possible that something more serious could come of this. But then she found out that I was a Mason. Nothin mattered after that. She couldn't shake the fact that I was down with the brothers and I feel that ultimately that led to her separating herself and leaving me to roam alone again. After it was all said and done I really didn't care, I figured "if she can't accept who and what I am then she's not the one for me anyway."
Then the second one: Again, we'd known each other for a while now, this time via the internet (Facebook and Twitter) we had been speakin a while back but it never really got passed any point other then phone conversations and texts. I had expressed to her that I liked her early in the game, cause I know how that friend zone works and I refuse to end up there anymore. So for whatever reason that died down. If I remember correctly, she went on vacation and we didn't speak much after she had returned. But like most things often change, so did our silence with each other. Not too long ago, I would say maybe 2 or 3 months, we had got back on the communication horse. We realized that we worked not too far from each other and set up an after work meet up. Finally after almost a year of knowing her simply through technology I met the person in the flesh. I remember thinkin to myself "Damn son, her pictures do her lil justice, she's beautiful in person" and we seemed to hit it off a lil bit. We took the train home a few times, I even walked her home the times that we did. I wouldn't say that things were getting serious or anything, but she knew I liked her and she admitted enjoyin speakin to me. So things were good til one day I realized a few days had passed without hearing from her. When I started hittin her up again I would get one word responses and very far and spaced out in between. So I thought to myself "I really don't wanna mess this one up, lemme hit her up and see what's wrong" and I asked her straight up if she'd lost interest in me cause that's the vibe I had gotten. She told me that she did, but that she was like that, she is the type to simply get bored with people and lose interest at the drop of a dime which I knew. But damn, I thought I had been keepin her attention well enough. Guess not huh? So I told her that I respected her honesty and moved on. Haven't spoken to her since.
So now here I am, alone, tired of bein alone and wondering where I went wrong. I came to only one conclusion.... See with both the girls I mentioned I can honestly say I did nothing wrong to lose em. I played my position and I feel I always play my position well. I didn't do too much nor did I do too little. I feel I was the well balanced guy that showed he is bf material. But I did see a similar behavior in myself with both situations that may be wrong on my behalf. My pride. Yeah.... that's a bitch right there, and I have pride for days! My whole "Oh it aint work out, fuck it" attitude. The whole "I ain't chasin nobody" thought process. I take a lot of pride in gettin the picture cause I know a lot of niggas aint like that. Some guys can be told straight up by a girl "please don't talk to me" and keep goin like shorty never even opened her mouth. And I be lookin like: "Damn nigga, where's your self respect? Keep it movin, she aint interested" but then weeks and or months later those are the same niggas you see with that same girl who shut 'em down.
So back to my first thought of maybe me being the one doin something wrong. Could that be it, could it be that I aint consistent with mine? Maybe I SHOULD be tryin to chase one (in this case in particular it would be the second one mentioned in the story, cause I actually miss her.) Maybe I should keep talkin after bein told "Don't talk to me." I play my position very well but I'm quick to bench myself after I miss a shot, and let's be honest, nobody gets to the championship that way.
So what do I do? Do I say "Fuck it, I'll get off the bench and back in the game someday" or do I say, "Nah, fuck that, I missed that shot but I aint out this game just yet!" I know my answer, but I keep thinkin every time I pick up the phone to text or call shorty I'm being annoyin, and that's never been my style. Am I supposed to feel that way? Maybe I can just try to make her laugh again and I'll be back in. Lol. I don't know man. But I do know one thing; a Saturday night alone is fine, but havin someone to share it with would be a million times better in my opinion. That's just me tho. Never been the Lone Wolf type, I always been more of a Lion. And the Lion might be King, but he wants his Queen there with em right?
Stay Up and Stay Tuned.
First and foremost, I know, I know.... I been MIA. I'm sorry, I haven't been finding the time to post these days. In fact I just deleted about 5 pending posts that I started but never revisited. So that should show you that I been tryin lol. Anyway, no excuses, I'll try to get back on it again.
But anyway, I just woke up from a 2-3 hour nap on the couch and as I got up and walked from one sleepin place to an another (my bed) I began to think to myself "Damn bruh, Saturday night, and you home?" Lol, yeah I am, and honestly I don't see anythin wrong with that, however I then thought to myself "It's time to find that significant other." Yeah, that's what this is about. I think I might have written about this before, but whatever, imma discuss it again.
I put on a real good front, but at the end of the day, when I'm going to sleep and I'm alone with my thoughts, I start to think that I'm gettin older and I need someone to laugh with, someone to roll with and someone to say good night to other than my boys and my family. It's funny cause people always tell you to enjoy being single and I KNOW that relationships are nothin but headaches and bullshit, but hey, I'm human, I want those headaches and that bullshit. I feel like Will Smith in "Hancock." Ya ever seen that movie? He was a super hero who never aged, but the closer he got to the love of his life, his other half, the more human he became losing his powers and all that. Being single is the equivalent to being the hero here, and bein honest, I don't mind losing my powers.
So I think about it, and for the first time ever I'm admitting that I must doing somethin wrong here. So I started to think back. The last 2 girls I was talkin to and gettin to know didn't work out. Wanna here how those two fell apart? Yeah sure I'll tell you.
The first one: We'd known each other for a while through some mutual friends and business partners, but we never really spoke til she started paying more attention to my tweets (or at least that's how I remember it.) So, me being who I am, I thought to myself "See what's up, maybe she likes you" and decided to give her my math. She was a lil hesitant to hit me up for whatever reason but she finally did and before you knew it we couldn't stop talkin on the phone. We hung out a few times and even started to express the fact that we were feelin each other and that it was quite possible that something more serious could come of this. But then she found out that I was a Mason. Nothin mattered after that. She couldn't shake the fact that I was down with the brothers and I feel that ultimately that led to her separating herself and leaving me to roam alone again. After it was all said and done I really didn't care, I figured "if she can't accept who and what I am then she's not the one for me anyway."
Then the second one: Again, we'd known each other for a while now, this time via the internet (Facebook and Twitter) we had been speakin a while back but it never really got passed any point other then phone conversations and texts. I had expressed to her that I liked her early in the game, cause I know how that friend zone works and I refuse to end up there anymore. So for whatever reason that died down. If I remember correctly, she went on vacation and we didn't speak much after she had returned. But like most things often change, so did our silence with each other. Not too long ago, I would say maybe 2 or 3 months, we had got back on the communication horse. We realized that we worked not too far from each other and set up an after work meet up. Finally after almost a year of knowing her simply through technology I met the person in the flesh. I remember thinkin to myself "Damn son, her pictures do her lil justice, she's beautiful in person" and we seemed to hit it off a lil bit. We took the train home a few times, I even walked her home the times that we did. I wouldn't say that things were getting serious or anything, but she knew I liked her and she admitted enjoyin speakin to me. So things were good til one day I realized a few days had passed without hearing from her. When I started hittin her up again I would get one word responses and very far and spaced out in between. So I thought to myself "I really don't wanna mess this one up, lemme hit her up and see what's wrong" and I asked her straight up if she'd lost interest in me cause that's the vibe I had gotten. She told me that she did, but that she was like that, she is the type to simply get bored with people and lose interest at the drop of a dime which I knew. But damn, I thought I had been keepin her attention well enough. Guess not huh? So I told her that I respected her honesty and moved on. Haven't spoken to her since.
So now here I am, alone, tired of bein alone and wondering where I went wrong. I came to only one conclusion.... See with both the girls I mentioned I can honestly say I did nothing wrong to lose em. I played my position and I feel I always play my position well. I didn't do too much nor did I do too little. I feel I was the well balanced guy that showed he is bf material. But I did see a similar behavior in myself with both situations that may be wrong on my behalf. My pride. Yeah.... that's a bitch right there, and I have pride for days! My whole "Oh it aint work out, fuck it" attitude. The whole "I ain't chasin nobody" thought process. I take a lot of pride in gettin the picture cause I know a lot of niggas aint like that. Some guys can be told straight up by a girl "please don't talk to me" and keep goin like shorty never even opened her mouth. And I be lookin like: "Damn nigga, where's your self respect? Keep it movin, she aint interested" but then weeks and or months later those are the same niggas you see with that same girl who shut 'em down.
So back to my first thought of maybe me being the one doin something wrong. Could that be it, could it be that I aint consistent with mine? Maybe I SHOULD be tryin to chase one (in this case in particular it would be the second one mentioned in the story, cause I actually miss her.) Maybe I should keep talkin after bein told "Don't talk to me." I play my position very well but I'm quick to bench myself after I miss a shot, and let's be honest, nobody gets to the championship that way.
So what do I do? Do I say "Fuck it, I'll get off the bench and back in the game someday" or do I say, "Nah, fuck that, I missed that shot but I aint out this game just yet!" I know my answer, but I keep thinkin every time I pick up the phone to text or call shorty I'm being annoyin, and that's never been my style. Am I supposed to feel that way? Maybe I can just try to make her laugh again and I'll be back in. Lol. I don't know man. But I do know one thing; a Saturday night alone is fine, but havin someone to share it with would be a million times better in my opinion. That's just me tho. Never been the Lone Wolf type, I always been more of a Lion. And the Lion might be King, but he wants his Queen there with em right?
Stay Up and Stay Tuned.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Pictures VS. Photographs
Yaoooooowww! It's a been a minute aint it?
I had a DOPE ass post to put up, however speakin on the topic would be giving away too large a secret of the world of men and I personally don't want my balls revoked. So I came up with somethin else.
I was in the car with Mylez earlier and he told me "I found myself scramblin for a new default cuz..." and then he went on about how we used to have high comment photographs on a consistent basis. Very true. I explained to him that I myself had been without a new default in quite some time but told him we'd be back in the Matrix real soon. So in that moment, with the help of him and Isaiah I came up with my/our new movement. 'Pictures VS. Photography.' Allow me to break it down. See with SLR Cameras apparently being on sale worldwide and every nigga being able to afford them it's becoming harder and harder to be a photographer these days. And of course, let's not forget instagram. I hate iPhone users cause of how fuckin arrogant they are, but add instagram to that and it's complete over the top hate that you get from me! Lol
I mean understand..... Matter fact never mind all that. I've said a billion times before that there is a huge difference between a picture and a photograph and I personally feel that it's about time I showed the world what that is again. So to Mylez and to all of you who follow me, all my Muses, everybody, Eno is back big baby! We don't need photo shoots to show of my talent! So let's get it, let's show all these iPhone usin muh fuckahs and gwc's (Guys with Cameras) what a true photographer is. Let's remind people what the difference between a picture and a photograph is.
^^Ya see what I'm capable of... No pictures here, and these are my throw-aways! Ya can hah dese! Lol, It's on niggas. Who ever want it can get it. Pictures VS. Photographs, find out what side you on and get your gun locked and loaded, cause my trigger finger itchin and this Canon dying to speak! Fuck Instagram.
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
I had a DOPE ass post to put up, however speakin on the topic would be giving away too large a secret of the world of men and I personally don't want my balls revoked. So I came up with somethin else.
I was in the car with Mylez earlier and he told me "I found myself scramblin for a new default cuz..." and then he went on about how we used to have high comment photographs on a consistent basis. Very true. I explained to him that I myself had been without a new default in quite some time but told him we'd be back in the Matrix real soon. So in that moment, with the help of him and Isaiah I came up with my/our new movement. 'Pictures VS. Photography.' Allow me to break it down. See with SLR Cameras apparently being on sale worldwide and every nigga being able to afford them it's becoming harder and harder to be a photographer these days. And of course, let's not forget instagram. I hate iPhone users cause of how fuckin arrogant they are, but add instagram to that and it's complete over the top hate that you get from me! Lol
I mean understand..... Matter fact never mind all that. I've said a billion times before that there is a huge difference between a picture and a photograph and I personally feel that it's about time I showed the world what that is again. So to Mylez and to all of you who follow me, all my Muses, everybody, Eno is back big baby! We don't need photo shoots to show of my talent! So let's get it, let's show all these iPhone usin muh fuckahs and gwc's (Guys with Cameras) what a true photographer is. Let's remind people what the difference between a picture and a photograph is.
^^Ya see what I'm capable of... No pictures here, and these are my throw-aways! Ya can hah dese! Lol, It's on niggas. Who ever want it can get it. Pictures VS. Photographs, find out what side you on and get your gun locked and loaded, cause my trigger finger itchin and this Canon dying to speak! Fuck Instagram.
Stay Up and Stay Tuned!
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